Cult of Daath - The Grand Torturers of Hell
A reissue of the 2001 LP on Warhammer from a widely considered cult band from the US. I want to like this, sheerly for their wholehearted attempt to capture the ancient essence of Dead-era Mayhem, but I just can’t force myself to. You can call this “primitive,” “cult,” or “true” all you want, it’s just plain slop with a piss poor recording.
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Cronian - Terra
As is usually the case with Power Metal, the music here is fine. Production from Dan Swano never hurts either. I find the Black Metal vibes of this project, the brainchild of Vintersorg and Borknagar’s main men, much more enjoyable, but the Butt Rock vocals simply have to go. They destroy all chances of a solid listen.
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Coldseed - Competition Makes the Tragedy
I think we’ve reached Fag Factor Five, Captain. Apparently the band named themselves after their favorite beverage. I dig the artwork, and the lyrics might be okay, but this ultra-slick faggy Goth Metal does nothing for me. It sounds forced and painfully unpainful. Try ripping off Katatonia. I like it when bands do that.
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The Cold Existence - The Essence
For every five hundred bands I hear do the Gothenberg thing, and I’m not even counting the Metalcore bands, every once in a great while I come across a clone band so brilliant that I forget that its been done to death. The Cold Existence embody the spirit, passion, and tension of Dark Tranquillity, In Flames, Eucharist, and At the Gates all in their respective primes. A revisitation to the good old days played to perfection.
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Cerebral Turbulency - Crash Test
As much of a fan as I am of their classic Germ of Error album, this one just flat out doesn’t have it. Sounding less like the Grindcore elite we know they can be, and more like a confused Crust band in their infancy stages, Crash Test does not pass. Hopefully just a hiccup in an otherwise solid career, not the final death belch.
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Catamenia - Bringing the Cold to Poland (video)
Oddly, I don’t think that I’ve ever heard this Finnish band before, despite it being around for over a decade. Usually that’s a bad sign, but not completely this time. Stylistically this is melodic “Black” Metal, with some occasional Flokish influences, plus a dash of Gothic Metal, I guess, here and there and a strong Euro Power Metal undertone, or something equally wimpy. That said, it’s usually not a bad combination, with rare moments of greatness. For reasons unknown to me, the band has more than one lead singer, which is never a good idea, and especially sucks ass here, with one of the guys turning in an absolutely embarrassing performance. The video (16x9 anamorphic) is good, although notably less stunning than on most of the other Metal Mind DVDs, and audio (DD 5.1, of course) quality is excellent. But this wasn’t filmed in front of the usual (for Metal Mind videos) huge festival crowd (in fact, the crowd is small, doesn’t seem all that into the band, and decreases over the course of the show) and that’s a real distraction. It’s also slightly weird to hear Catamenia cover Satyricon, even if it is “Fuel for Hatred.” The guys also do a W.A.S.P. cover (“I Wanna Be Somebody”), which is just kinda wrong in execution. And that’s not a bad description of the band in general. They have the chops, but after watching this DVD I realize why I’d never heard of them before. Naturally there are the standard bonus features, including some video clips, an interview, photos, and so on, plus the band’s 1995 and 1996 demos, audio-only, of course, which I liked a lot more than than the live show…
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Cardiac Arrest - Morgue Mutilations
Decent Old School Death Metal in the same vein as Autopsy, Morgue, and Cianide. Notice I said “vein,” not “league.” Morgue Mutilations does deliver a few moments of catchy brutality, but it’s nothing that will maim you into an unrecognizable paste. Maybe just an itchy rash and colitis.
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Burial Within - Burial Within
Exceptional Deathcore from this young, southern unit. Granted the production quality isn’t quite the big league sound yet, but it’s close enough. Musically and vocally, think All Shall Perish or Job for a Cowboy. Lyrically, think of putting a shotgun in your mouth and ending your miserable fucking existence. Seriously good lyrics, folks. It’s almost as if someone looked inside my mind and started writing shit down. I can’t sing the praises of this Memphis quintet enough. Worth tracking down for the gut-wrenching vokills, colossal breakdowns, and lyrical despair alone. Somebody please sign this band and give them money immediately.
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Brand New Sin - Tequila
What the fuck is this shit? What the fuck am I listening to? This is MetalCurse.com, not fuckyersisteruptheass.com! “…the definition of authentic, meat-and-potatoes classic Hard Rock mixed with hints of down home, Southern-style Blues and an undeniable raw fury that refuses to be denied?!” Fuck you. I deny it. It sucks. This sounds like White Zombie fucking Black Label Society up the ass. Fuck this hillbilly shit and any inbred cum stain that likes it.
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