This is the debut album (and first release that I know of) by Indonesia’s Vlaar, so I’m going to pull my punches just a bit. Metal-archives.com has this band tagged as Thrash/Black Metal/Punk, but giving them that much rope to hang themselves with might not be a good idea. Classifying this as Thrash and Black Metal and Punk might make it seem as if this band has a diverse sound. They don’t. This is just sloppily played Thrash Metal with a screamer for a vocalist. Screaming like someone shoved an agave cactus up your ass doesn’t make you Black Metal. Sloppy playing doesn’t make you Punk. To tell the truth (and bluntly), this shouldn’t be a debut album. This should be a demo at best. S.A.T.R.V. should be the recording you make for your Facebook page, or to help you land gigs at the local dive bar. Nobody in their right mind would pay for something like this because it sounds like crap. I realize that with the technology available these days, anybody can form a band and release an album. This doesn’t mean that they should. Given how sloppy the playing is on this LP, I’d give Vlaar another four or five releases before they produce something listenable.

Boy, the UK sure does love the smell of its own farts. Thumb through a copy of Cock Sound, Metal Hamster, or that pitiful publication that still calls itself Terrorizer for some odd reason, and you’ll find them pimping these young Scots like they’re The Beatles and Iron Maiden combined. Of course, they have a habit of blowing their Metalcore exports way out of proportion over there (take Bullet for My Valentine or Sylosis… please), so perhaps I should learn to stop taking the bait. (Six free covermount CDs, 27 fold-out posters, and not one fucking grain of salt.) Damn you, Bring Me the Horizon and Architects for being such standout exceptions! Now I have to make sure. At least I can save others the trouble: Glasgow’s Bleed from Within are nowhere near that league. The music here is as forced and generic as the band’s standard 3-word Metalcore name. If I wanted to hear a third-rate carbon copy of Parkway Drive… well… I’ve no idea where I was going because I’d never want to hear that. Uprising is a hookless chugfest. A mundane celebration of predictable arrangements that have been borrowed upon borrowed upon borrowed, infinity. Occasionally the quintet dabble in just enough pain and sorrow to let the listener know they could be making meaningful tunes if they so desired (see moments of “The War Around Us,” album closer “Devotion,” and instrumental segue “Speechless”), but they much prefer to go through motions Lamb of God wore out 9 years ago. The vocals range from wimpy screams to a brutal bark that sounds so much like Winston from Parkway Drive it’s laughable. Musically the band has all the chops in China, but not a shred of creativity or imagination to go with it. You can almost hear their fear of wandering too far from a comfort zone built of basic modern Metalcore templates. Alas, the groove isn’t heavy enough, the melodies don’t hurt, and telling the songs apart can be quite an adventure. (At some point, a blastbeat woke me up, though I can’t recall when and where.) Don’t believe the hype. This is just the same old new shit.

Major props to Negative Reaction and MVD Audio for unearthing this ultra-rare gem from 1988. Never before available on CD, IGD’s self-titled debut had been, until now, the stuff of Crust Punker and Thrash-obsessed skateboarder legend. A piece of Bay Area Gutter Punk folklore seemingly doomed to permanent obscurity. I certainly never thought I’d get the chance to hear it, and holy shit am I glad I did! Believe the hype, IGD Thrashed it up with the best Crossover outfits of their era. I could list dozens of bands that these Sacramento suburban wasteoids sound like —or perhaps more accurately, dozens of bands that sound like them— but you can’t hit the nail on the head any better than Cryptic Slaughter. Frantic speed, short songs, a snotty screamer, and the kind of fuck-you attitude that only the Reagan administration could produce. One difference between IGD and most bands of this ilk is a complete lack of political correctness in the lyrical department. If you thought MOD’s “Aren’t You Hungry” was insensitive, you should probably pass on IGD’s “Starve and Die.” Usually I’m not one for humorous lyrics, but when they’re delivered with this much brazen rage and reckless abandon, resistance is futile. Other topics include the band’s beverage of choice (“Milwaukee’s Best”), stupid whores (“Pubic Lice,” “Dear Pops,” “Why?”), addiction (“Porno Junkies,” “Psychos on Speed”), Uncle Sam (“The Real Enemy”), and random insanity (“Premeditated Stupidity,” “Chef Boyardee’s Mercenaries”). Included as a bonus here are the band’s first two demos — 1986’s My Pet Disease (rumored to feature Slayer’s Kerry King on backing vocals) and 1987’s The Joke That Went Too Far. The demo material isn’t quite as sharp and tight as the LP, but you do get their essential cover of the Anal Babies classic “Fat Dykes on Welfare.” You also get CD-Rom extras (live video from ‘88, live audio from ‘87) which I’ve yet to check out. Overall, a must-own package. It’s hard to beat fast-as-fuck, instantly memorable, and unapologetically offensive. A cult fusion of Punk and Speed Metal for the ages. Don’t be a fag.

Darkened Nocturn Slaughtercult is a band that I’ve always been meaning to check out, but I never seemed to find the time to actually do it. Necrovision, their latest album, kicks serious ass and it makes me wish that I’d gotten around to listening to them a lot earlier. The first thing about DNS that I noticed was the strong Dark Funeral influence in the guitar playing. The riffing style and dynamics are very much like what you would find on Dark Funeral’s older releases (particularly the first EP and full-length). Darkened Nocturn Slaughtercult is definitely more at home in the higher speed ranges. This is aided by a drummer who actually knows how to do more than just ride the snare and blast away. The drumming is actually pretty creative. It isn’t overly technical (such as what Hellhammer of Mayhem is known for), but it’s definitely a cut above the average Black or Death Metal drummer. This brings us to Necrovision’s impressive sound. The instruments are all given enough room to breathe and you can hear everything fairly distinctly. I thought that the drums might be a tad too loud, but that may be because I’m used to “blast and grind” drummers that only use two drums (the bass and snare) and one cymbal. Horrn (Pavor/Beyond North) actually knows how to use the other drums on his kit, and does. This really helps Darkened Nocturn Slaughtercult escape the “sameness” that other bands have when playing in this speed range. Add some razor sharp guitar work and corrosive vocals and you get an album that kills posers dead on contact. This is a very solid release and showcases a band that knows what they’re doing. If you like fast, brutal Black Metal in the Dark Funeral vein, Necrovision should be on your short list of albums to pick up.

I don’t care how much trouble I get into with the kvlt police, I’ve never heard Mysticum’s 1996 debut in its entirety until now, with this reissue. Full Moon Productions only pressed about 11 copies of the fucking thing, and having heard unimpressive bits and pieces of it from friends over the years, I didn’t really feel the need to ever hunt one down. But we’ll get into that later. For now, here’s what else I vaguely remember about this Norwegian trio:

• They did a split with Ulver before that band started making background music to accompany Yoga.

• Hellhammer was a member for about 8 minutes.

• This LP was originally intended for release on Euronymous’ Deathlike Silence label, but Varg had other plans.

• Whoever programmed the drum machine had no fucking clue what the hell they were doing.

• They had a forgettable cut on FMP’s A Tribute to Hell: Satanic Rites comp (included as a bonus track here, along with “Black Magic Mushrooms” from the 2003 split with Audiopain).

• This is the type of band that writes songs called “Black Magic Mushrooms.”

That’s all I’ve got. Sorry, I was busy listening to real Black Metal. Spinning this album nearly two decades later, it’s clear to me why they never put out a follow-up. The only thing these guys had going for them was that sweet-ass band logo. That’s probably the sole reason everyone still pretends to like this. I mean, honestly, this is fucking horrible. You constantly see the same words used to describe this noise: “Cold.” “Eerie.” “Bleak.” “Ugly.” How about, “Weak”? “Lame”? “Irritating”? “Garbage”? Sounds more like it to me. Seriously, who programmed this drum machine? It sounds like varying speeds of raindrops on an awning. The guitars do achieve that golden-age-of-Second-Wave necro sound, but can I get a memorable riff, please? If you could isolate the barely audible synths, they might make a decent Beherit intro. The vocals aren’t anything special. Just basic BM cackling. There’s really nothing here to warrant the “cult classic” status this annoying clamor has undeservedly garnered. It’s nice of Peaceville to reassure me that I haven’t been missing out on shit. I did not receive this reissue’s bonus DVD, but in all honesty, I wouldn’t have watched it. It’s most likely an hour-long documentary about the drawing of the logo. Face it, you only like this because no one else does.

Tank Genocide is one of those bands that you find every now and then where ideology trumps musical ability. You discover them in scenes where politics are involved, usually in Punk/Hardcore or NSBM. Naturally, with a name like Tank Genocide, this is NSBM. Deprivation is actually one of the band’s tamer releases. Nothing about this screams “Nazi Black Metal,” unlike so many other bands in this genre. I was expecting swastikas and pictures of Hitler all over the place, but there isn’t any recognizable Nazi iconography anywhere. And now for the music… It’s raw, one-riff NSBM from the beginning to the end. The only variation in style or content on Deprivation comes from cover songs. Even those (there are three, literally half of the demo) seem to be chosen for their minimalistic style. Naturally, there is a Burzum cover (“Dunkelheit”). NSBM bands love Burzum, and most so blatantly ape the style that Varg should be getting a royalty check. Personally, I think Varg should start asking for them. That way, he can stop pumping out sub-par albums and pay off that massive debt he owes the Norwegian government for burning down those churches. But I digress… The other two cover songs, “Eternal Life” by Mayhem and “Jesus Christ Sodomized” by Marduk are passable, but the Burzum cover is arguably the best thing on this demo. The other tracks are raw, minimalistic and repetitive. Deprivation makes Von sound like Stratovarius in terms of songwriting and sound. The one thing that saves this demo from being absolute crap is the atmosphere. The rawness and bass-heavy distorted guitar gives this an old-school sound and for reasons unknown, it makes the songs sound fucking evil. I think the guitar tone has a lot to do with it. I just wish the writing and the playing were better. Tank Genocide has two major negatives: the lack of playing ability and a focus on quantity over quality. I checked metal-archives.com and there are a fucking ton of releases by this band out there (21 from 2012 and already 15 this year - mostly demo recordings and split EPs). I know that some of them are just re-recordings of older tracks, but still, that’s a lot of material. Considering how primitive this demo sounds, the other stuff must not be too much different. I would like to hear some more refined music from this band. Beating one riff into the floor is fine on your first demo. Beating one riff into the floor on your thirty-sixth release is not.

By all sound logic and rationale, I should despise Ghost. Oh, to drink deep the Haterade… let me count the reasons. They use the tired gimmick of stage costumes that the general public tends to pounce on like a cat on a laser pointer. Thanks to said gimmick, they score a major label deal overnight, in an era that may one day see Metallica signing with Razor & Tie, no less. They are beloved by countless happy douchebags, none more douchebaggy than Glam fag poser god Phil Anselmo. Given their success, they will undoubtedly spawn a litter of lame copycats attempting to trendfuck the Occult Rock fad like a rabbit on Viagra. Last but not least, they seem to take being compared to the mighty Mercyful Fate as some kind of insult. Yes, I should definitely hate Ghost… but I can’t. They are sooo fucking good! It’s ridiculous how god damn good they are! If you thought Opus Eponymous was instantly likable, you haven’t heard shit yet. Now they’re playing with house money, and that house belongs to Universal Republic, boys and ghouls. Papa Emeritus, meet Auto-tune. Infestissumam is a work of simplistic brilliance from beginning to end. Heed my warning, every song here will be stuck in your head forever. Whoever the fuck this singer is, he’s amazing, and the ultra-Satanic lyrics —perhaps Ghost’s only consistent tie to actual Metal— are the icing on the cake, tongue-in-cheek or not. Far more stylistically adventurous than the 2010 debut, Infestissumam could arguably be classified as borderline Pop music, but it’s catchier than the common cold. Anyone who likes Ghost has no business talking shit about HIM. It’s the same formula, tough guy. Simple hooks built around a pretty voice and irresistible vocal patterns. With a slightly different lyrical approach, a song like “Body and Blood” could easily pass for Love Metal. If anything, Ghost is more danceable. Just listen to them turn circus music (“Secular Haze”) and Disco (“Year Zero”) into infectious first-listen singles. Then again, every song on the album is a single. From the NWOBHM-infused theatrical pomp of “Per Aspera ad Inferi” to the laid back ’70s swag of “Monstrance Clock,” there are no weak spots in this lineup. And I highly recommend tracking down the deluxe edition. You simply must hear their rendition of Abba’s “I’m a Marionette” (featuring Dave Grohl on drums). Abba is a very fitting band for Ghost to cover. They share the same homeland and their approaches to songwriting aren’t all that different. I’d bet they could turn “Dancing Queen” into Occult Rock gold as well. Whether I hate to admit it or not, this LP is completely flawless. No way they’ll ever be able to top it.

Australian Deathcore troupe Thy Art Is Murder bring absolutely nothing new to the table on their second full-length… and I don’t have a problem with that. Imagine if Whitechapel’s The Somatic Defilement and Acacia Strain’s The Dead Walk fucked and had a child that grew up to be a personal trainer. Hate is essentially an unending chain of breakdowns tied together with blastbeats, melodic Thrash licks, and bitter, angry sentiment. Yes, this isn’t anything we haven’t heard before. Yes, it’s downright impossible to tell the songs apart. Yes, the production is ultra-slick and modern. No, none of this bothers me at all. This isn’t a Rembrandt or a fucking Warhol. This is Deathcore. It’s designed to get the adrenaline pumping. It’s designed for the pit. Two minutes into opener “Reign of Darkness” and my hefty, lethargic ass is doing shadow Tae Kwan Do in the living room. Sure, this probably isn’t unique enough to make my year-end list, but if I happen to need theme music for the big fight’s training montage, Hate is going to be my first choice. All I’m really looking for in a Deathcore record is heaviness, brutality, groove, and… well, hate. These ten tracks meet those needs in spades. Chris McMahon’s all-pro bestial bellow does help to separate TAIM from the pack somewhat. His guttural power is the difference between “out now on Nuclear Blast” and “available for free at Bandcamp.” Again, the breakdowns are pretty much interchangeable, but if you were as outstanding at them as this rhythm section is, you’d probably want to keep repeating that motion also. (Jeanna Fine’s blowjobs are all very similar as well. Doesn’t mean I don’t need to see them all.) These are some of the best I’ve heard in awhile. The key is that sharp palm-muted chug and just the right amount of room to breathe. Nothing I need to tell the airtight guitar duo of Andy Marsh and Tom Brown. For what it is, Hate succeeds on every level, first and foremost by not concerning itself at all with what it doesn’t need to be. Let’s not forget, the Aussies don’t fuck around when it comes to extreme music. TAIM is to Deathcore what Destroyer 666 and Bestial Warlust are to Old School BM, what Whoretopsy is to brutal Death, and what Parkway Drive is to Metalcore — genius by way of no frills. I can see the internet virgins blogging angrily now: “Every song’s the same generic chugfest! I can’t stand the drum sound! I’m a little bitch! What’s a vagina?” This album is worth it just for that mental image alone. (I can’t wait to die.)

I was a fan of Voivod back in the early days, starting with War and Pain and up through Dimension Hatross, and even Nothingface. They were progressive, musically, and to a certain extent, I could understand where they were going. After a while, though, the band’s musical direction and my musical tastes diverged and I stopped paying attention to them. I still listened to their old stuff once in a while and when I ran across demo represses (such as Anachronism) or bootleg live CDs from their early days, I picked them up. The local independent record store always put the old stuff in the Metal section, but the new stuff tended to be filed in the Rock section, so if a new Voivod album came out, I never knew about it because I never looked in the Rock section. [Holy shit, what stupid assholes must work at/run that store! You don’t split the stock, ever. But if you are stupid enough to think that you have to, at least put a couple CDs in both places, or a fucking sign. This type of idiocy helped kill off records stores. -Editor] Still, it was a sad day for me when I heard that Piggy had succumbed to cancer at the age of 45. I was surprised that they were even still around at that point because I’d assumed that they’d broken up long ago. Fast forward to 2013. Blacky is back on bass and Piggy has been replaced by former Cryptopsy/Gorguts guitarist, Chewy. Target Earth was hyped as the first “post-Piggy” Voivod record and something of a comeback. All of the albums previous to this were written using riffs that Piggy had written prior to his death, so this was going to be the true test. Could they create a record without Piggy that was still Voivod? The answer would depend on what you considered “Voivod” in terms of their music. For me, it was the old stuff. I wanted a return to their Thrash roots but with a modern twist. I wanted this album to be more like the era that I loved, as opposed to the Technical/Progressive era that I disliked. Well, I guess the only way I’ll hear the old Thrash style of War and Pain or Killing Technology is to listen to those albums. Target Earth is definitely not a return to their roots. This is Progressive Metal like their later stuff. If you’re a fan of the newer Voivod style, you’ll probably like Target Earth. I didn’t find the overly technical playing and weird song structures to be to my liking. I like aggression, atmosphere and memorable riffing. This doesn’t have any of that. If anything, this album is anti-melodic and anti-memorable. There isn’t a riff on here that I could remember after the album was over. There were no standout tracks. All you get are songs that are technical as all hell. This LP was interesting from a technical point of view, but Target Earth was about as exciting as a physics lecture at your local community college. For me, Target Earth is an album that I wanted to like but was ultimately disappointed in. Much like the new Cryptopsy LP, it didn’t kick enough ass. Technicality and ass kicking ability are not mutually exclusive! Technicality and creating memorable riffs are not mutually exclusive either. Clockwork Angels by Rush is a Progressive Rock album that has science fiction themes much like Voivod does on Target Earth. The Rush album, though, is technical, memorable and it also kicks ten times more ass than Voivod does. It can be done, folks. For those still interested, this LP comes in multiple formats. The deluxe edition has an extra CD with live tracks from their show at Roadburn (2011). The set list is composed of songs that were mostly from the later, more technical/progressive era of Voivod’s career, so if you like the newer stuff, you’ll definitely like the bonus disc. The live tracks were released separately last year, so they aren’t exclusive to this release. It sounds like a soundboard recording, so the audio is pretty good. Hardcore fans probably already have this live material, but if you don’t, the deluxe edition of Target Earth is definitely worth the money.