The Devil’s Blood - III: Tabula Rasa or Death and the Seven Pillars
What the fuck is this? That’s not a rhetorical question. Seriously… what the fuck is this? Rumor has it the black-magical Occult Rock phenomenon known as The Devil’s Blood has broken up for good. That’s right, it’s the time of no time evermore for these beloved retro fad trailblazers, and whatever this oddly-titled pile of slop is comprises their swansong. Clearly they were nowhere near finished with this material, as what I’m hearing is nothing more than meandering mindvomit. At no point during this 65 minutes of sonic purgatory is there anything even resembling a coherent song. I’m assuming the band were accustomed to demoing all pre-production, and then molding everything into the finished product —the word from Metal Blade is that III was originally intended for a winter release— but why they would actually want to put this out is puzzling to say the least. The nicest thing I can say about these seven “songs” is that F the Mouth of Satan’s voice doesn’t sound bad —a talent like hers is one in a million, and if this truly does mark the last we ever hear from her, she will be sorely missed— but there is no rhyme or reason to what she’s doing. No patterns whatsoever, as if she’s narrating the equally abstract guitar masturbation behind her in ad lib fashion. This feels like an impromptu jam session and that could very well be the case. There isn’t a hook, there isn’t a chorus, there isn’t any structure, just indiscernible blocks of aimless sound. It begs the question: did the band call it quits because they were out of ideas? I can’t feasibly imagine the daunting task of attempting to transform this garbage into gold. It’s Chappelle’s Show all over again. Nothing left in the tank for the third season (or album in this case). Nowhere to go after “the bitch wears underwear with dickholes in ‘em.” Or is this all a staged act? This album is so horribly bad it almost seems intentional. Are they so disgusted by the movement they’ve inspired, with all the overnight groups trying to copy them, that they threw the game on purpose? Whatever the case, The Devil’s Blood cannot go out like this. A good EP, two great LPs, and this turd can’t possibly be the end. I’ve seen a vision: there will be more Blood. Then again, “I ain’t no angel… I’m just a nigga that love blood-covered titties.”
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