Although this is painfully average, run-of-the-mill Black Metal that I’ve heard a thousand times over, I have to admit it is inspirational. From the moment it started, I was inspired to hit the stop button.

Would this fucking band please just go the hell away? Who gives a shit about The Gathering in 2005? Even when they started out as a heavy Doom band with Death growl vocals they weren’t all that. Now that they have fucking Kylie Minogue singing for them and all their intensity has been scrapped for Pop accessibility, they’ve really worn out their welcome. This particular piece of wasted plastic is a wannabe “Unplugged” spanning their entire worthless catalog, plus one new song. Hooray! As if the original versions by Metal’s Aqua weren’t mellow enough. If you like The Gathering, I think you’re gay.

With a name like The Furor (albeit spelled incorrectly), I was at least expecting some cool lyrics. Nothing here but average, fast Black Metal. The same old shit done to death. Boring as fuck!

[This album is also known as Noces Chimiques -Editor]
Melodic, suicidal Black Metal that occasionally falls prey to cheesy Industrial segments. Their musical ideas are good, I’m actually reminded of the mighty Thy Serpent from time to time, but they need to get the vocals straight. This dude sounds like Cobra Commander, and then there are the guest vocals by Pavarotti. It just doesn’t work for some reason. There’s no question that with a better singer and a cutback on the mechanized elements, this would get a much higher rating.

If your CD collection is lacking in uninspired, unmemorable Black Metal albums that you’ll never listen to, Frozen Shadows feel your pain and have come through with that heartless slab of tenth rate Immortal destined to be sold for gas money the world over. Holy must be getting pretty fucking desperate.

From Russia hails Forest, a band on the BlazeBirth Hall roster (read: NSBM). Like many other bands associated with BlazeBirth Hall, Forest is heavily influenced by the likes of Burzum and old Emperor (not to mention ancient Bathory). Like Burzum, Forest is dark, atmospheric and enjoys writing epic-length songs. Like a Blaze Above the Ashes is about 45 minutes long and has four songs. If you average things out, that means each song is roughly 11 minutes in length - give or take a couple seconds here and there. Minimalistic riffing and song structures abound on this album, beating one good riff into the floor before starting another one. The production isn’t as treble-heavy as the bulk of this particular genre tends to be - though they’re nowhere near as heavy as Drudkh or Weakling. This is definitely a step upwards from their debut, which was also pretty decent. While their political opinions are kind of radical, they don’t let it infect their music. If you didn’t know BlazeBirth Hall was NS oriented, you’d never know it from listening to Forest. NS or not, this is still a solid piece of Norse-influenced Black Metal.

The tears in question are obviously those of any heterosexual who has been subjected to Power Metal’s answer to Evanescence.

Cheap, sloppy, noisy, thrown together Punk Rock. These guys don’t take themselves too seriously, and coincidentally no sober individual that hears this album will either.

This band plays an absolutely exhausted style of Gothenburg Death/Thrash with about half of the heaviness and aggression that even most lower tier copycats can muster. And the “Folk” aspects are merely moments of Journey awkwardly thrown in. In summary, a forgettable compound of boredom and cheese. Cheddar apparently does not make every bite better.

To say that this will appeal to fans of Slayer, Lamb of God, Unearth, and The Haunted is insulting, not only to me, but to anyone who’s ever heard music. Not to mention it’s a complete lie. This sounds like some fucking JL America/Turbo Thrash! Rehashed, remastered, and repackaged for resale. Stunningly average. A couple of fucking breakdowns doesn’t make you Unearth. So far, this Magick label hasn’t shown me shit.

Extremely well done Black Metal in the ancient vein. Misanthropy and melancholy are conveyed to perfection amidst an ominous feel of evil and contempt for the clergy. The sad melodies atop the blasting on “The Mad Nun” fill my head with visions of impending winterkill in a torrential blizzard. The occasional Maniac-style clean singing took a short time to get used to, but there isn’t a whole lot that could ruin the feeling of old that Fearbringer so convincingly evoke. If you consider yourself a hardcore fan of Darkthrone, Burzum, Abigor, Graveland, or Ulver (before they started playing Easy Listening), you will welcome the chore of seeking out this obscure release. Plus, I’m pretty sure this band is from Italy. Go wops! We’ve got four good bands now!

Yet another in an endless sea of Gothenberg clones. As is usually the case, decent songs, good melodies, and sharp vocals, but it has been done and done and done over and over and over again to a painful fucking death! Since the glory days of At the Gates, Dark Tranquillity, and In Flames, 10-15 bands pop up a year that sound very much or identical to what Fallen Empire is doing on this EP. Sorry, guys. You’ve got the talent, you’re just a decade-plus late.

It’s been quite a few years since I’ve heard this band. In fact, the last I remember hearing of them was way back on their Evanescent, Everfading album, which was before they went all “Art Rock.” The press release says something about how much you’ll like this is you like current stuff from Paradise Lost or Sentenced, and all I can think of is how sad it is if that’s true and those once-great bands really are this lame now, all this time after I’ve given up on them. I mean, this sounds like it could be on the radio. Just imagine what the radio stations are like here in tiny little Elkhart, Indiana! This might get better after the second track, but it was too headache-inducing for me to proceed any further.

Black Metal with a Thrashlike rhythmic diversity, that is to say, they mix speeds well. The vocals, riffs, and production are all fine, but for whatever reason, this bores me to absolute fucking tears. Good musicians, but it’s so run-of-the-mill it hurts. Try harder.

You know, with the media surge involving Metalcore, you very rarely hear a thing about the German scene. Sure, Heaven Shall Burn and Caliban get their props, and rightfully so, but have you ever heard Soulgate’s Dawn, Mourning Ends, Ba’al, Fall of a Season, Destiny, or Maroon? I’m sure some of you have, but a lot are missing out on some quality music. Quality music like Fall of Serenity. Now, unlike most the bands listed in my tirade, these guys are not Metalcore. They are a melodic Death Metal band with a healthy obsession with the Old School Swedish sound. A genetic splicing of the Gothenberg and Sunlight sounds, if you will. On their exceptional debut, Grey Man’s Requiem, they nailed a cover of Dismember’s “Casket Garden,” and while Royal Killing unveils a completely refined sound, the vibes are still thankfully evident. The album has a strong Edge of Sanity vibe, with the brutal vocals occasionally reminiscent of classic Unleashed. (Also reminiscent of this zine’s editor, by the way.) There is also the welcome addition of clean vocals, and speaking of Edge of Sanity, Patrick Engel, who produced the album and lends backing vocals, is quickly becoming Germany’s answer to Dan Swano. I simply can’t recommend this enough. Fall of Serenity have outdone their debut and continue to showcase their country’s hidden treasures. I mean, come on, one of the guys is wearing a Katatonia shirt. That alone is worth at least a 9.

For those of you unaware, as I was, of this band’s existence, this is the new project from Roberth Karlsson who you may recall was the vocalist for Edge of Sanity on the Cryptic LP. Filling in for Dan Swano is definitely not an enviable task, but Karlsson held his ground pretty well back then. However, his vocals have never sounded as brutal as they do on Bloodred Hell. Musically this is in the same ballpark as Edge of Sanity’s heavier moments, never straying far from the patented “brutality comes through simplicity” motto held sacred by Sweden’s Death Metal elite. Now, make no mistake, Facebreaker are not quite in said company yet. This album can and does tend to drag in parts, but a fresh face is always welcome to the fray. Even if it is an old friend. Favorites: “Human Spoil,” “Command of the Dark,” “Hater,” and “Crushed.”

For reasons that remain the band’s own, Exciter has re-recorded 15 songs ranging from the ancient “Heavy Metal Maniac” (1983), to the comparatively recent “Brutal Warning” (from 2000’s Blood of Tyrants). I can understand why a band might want to re-record some old songs. On some occasions this has produced impressive results, and in some ways does here. But as with every time this has been done, I think that only people who really like the band will be interested in hearing this, and that’s exactly the same group of people who will for the most part prefer the original recordings simply because they are the original recordings. Perhaps a more effective way to “update” old songs would have been to release a live album. However, it’s impossible to deny how much these tracks Thrash your brains out, despite the fact that even re-recorded a couple of them seem rather archaic.

Somebody screwed up. They forgot to add the “H.I.V.” to the album’s title. This is embarrassingly awful Power Glam/Ass Metal from the fag that brought you Dream Child. Unless you draw some sick pleasure from grown men living in an adolescent, homo-erotic fantasy world, avoid this like Mexican water.

When I pick on the Metal ladies, I don’t mean cool ones like Zdenka Prado. Fans of Garden of Shadows’ Oracle Moon may remember her guest appearance on that album. She’s got to be right up there with Rachel from Sinister / Infinited Hate and Runhild from Thorr’s Hammer when it comes to brutal female Death Metal vocals. She’s damn close, anyway. Unfortunately the music here isn’t quite on the same level as she is. It’s heavy, melodic Death/Thrash which, at its best, ironically reminds me of Demonic Christ (speaking of cool Metal chicks). It’s well-played, but just sort of drags on. However, with a good vocalist and definite potential there is always hope.

Not much has changed since the last time I heard Entwine. They still sound like the Gothic Alice in Chains, and I still don’t give a rat’s ass.