Exceptional Deathcore from this young, southern unit. Granted the production quality isn’t quite the big league sound yet, but it’s close enough. Musically and vocally, think All Shall Perish or Job for a Cowboy. Lyrically, think of putting a shotgun in your mouth and ending your miserable fucking existence. Seriously good lyrics, folks. It’s almost as if someone looked inside my mind and started writing shit down. I can’t sing the praises of this Memphis quintet enough. Worth tracking down for the gut-wrenching vokills, colossal breakdowns, and lyrical despair alone. Somebody please sign this band and give them money immediately.

What the fuck is this shit? What the fuck am I listening to? This is MetalCurse.com, not fuckyersisteruptheass.com! “…the definition of authentic, meat-and-potatoes classic Hard Rock mixed with hints of down home, Southern-style Blues and an undeniable raw fury that refuses to be denied?!” Fuck you. I deny it. It sucks. This sounds like White Zombie fucking Black Label Society up the ass. Fuck this hillbilly shit and any inbred cum stain that likes it.

For the first time ever, I actually had high hopes for a Belphegor release, with Goatreich - Fleshcult being the first of their albums to ever really kick my ass. While I’m not completely disappointed, it is a slight step backwards. Not in terms of productions or playing, as it sounds terrific and it’s brutal as fuck, but rather the overall quality of being memorable. I’m glad they decided to keep a few tracks Doomy, as these are probably the best standout cuts on the album. The remainder is, for the most part, highly refined speed that fails to stick.

This band just won’t go away. I’ve never liked them, probably never will, but I can say this is the best output I’ve ever heard from them. What kills it is the narrative voice that stains virtually every crevice of the album, telling whatever stupid concept/story they cooked up. We all know a band with a name this gay can’t just write a Black Metal record. Musically it’s a step in the right direction, as the band come off here as second rate Cradle of Filth meets tenth rate Emperor. Again, leagues better than past efforts. They could probably stand to lay off the synths a little. This material is symphonic to the point of saturation. Nothing worth your time here. Good only by contrast to the total dogshit they’ve put out in the past.

I don’t see what the big deal is here. Second rate Destroyer 666 and Bestial Warlust. Certainly not bad, but not the masterpiece some mag writers are making it out to be. Nothing I haven’t heard done better in the past.

What the fuck is this nonsense? The first eight cuts sound like a live gig that was bootlegged from a bathroom stall. The remaining six tracks appear to be studio-recorded, but don’t sound a hell of a lot better. This band sucks incredibly bad. Very little musical talent and absolutely none vocally. Pure shit. A lot like Necrophagia.

So this is it? This is Amorphis’ widely heralded “return to form?” Under a minute’s worth of Death growls and a few note-for-note rip-offs from Tales from the Thousand Lakes? This is worse than their ’70s Rock jack-off era. Their new singer sucks. He sounds like Michael Bolton crossed with the Jesus-fucker from Creed. I guess when I’d heard these once great Finns were rekindling the flames of their old style, I just assumed they meant more than the moog. This is total melodramatic garbage. Sure, it’s much heavier than the Amorphis of recent past, but then again so is Weezer. Circa ‘91-‘94 it ain’t, and another tough lesson learned about getting your hopes up. Rating upped a tad for at least knowing which of their old albums to steal from (and for inadvertently acknowledging the fact they’ve been putting out complete shit for the last twelve years).

Let’s see, 29 tracks in 29 minutes, Mike Diana-style artwork, samples up the ass, song titles like “Goddamn I Gotta Piss Worse Than a Baby Needs a Casket,” “Oops I Forgot My Semen,” and “Kidshitter Shotgun Blast,” pitch-shifted vocals, drum machine, and Repulsion cover. Guess what style of music this is. Good for a laugh on those hellraising late nights, but tough to take seriously. It is what it is and at least it’s fun. Best song/song title: “You Can Stab Him in the Head, Just Don’t Forget Your Money.”

The highly anticipated follow up to the devastating Hate Malice Revenge does not disappoint. The ferocity of Death Metal entwined with Hardcore fury accompanied by beatdowns and pure lyrical negativity galore. The frequent use of sub-atomic bass explosions a la Devourment and Cephalic Carnage are enough to make you lose bowel control and/or command of the steering wheel. Two full length albums into their promising career, and this young powerhouse of a band have yet to do anything wrong in my eyes. This is simply Deathcore mastered, perfected and personified.

What the fuck happened to this band? They used to be so good. Can this be the same band that recorded The Way After and Ungodly albums? How could they scrap some of the most promising melodic Black/Death to come from the States, to play this muddy, forgettable Death/Thrash? Emotional, darkened lyrics traded in for typical death and destruction bullshit and the perfect balance of Death and Black, vocally, swapped for Barney Greenway’s retarded cousin. It’s okay if you wake up one day and want to be a half-ass version of Usurper, but at least change the fucking name.

G.A.Y.

I thought for sure when I’d heard that Jens Ryden, perceived by many to be the creative force behind this band, had jumped ship, that the sun had most likely set on these Swedish Black Metal vets. I love it when I’m wrong. With Pariah, Naglfar have crafted by far the finest Black Metal offering of 2005 up to this point. The venom drips from the speakers as the sinister hooks of Dissection mutate with the speed and fury of Marduk, both in their respective primes. As sharp and brutal as it is lyrically bold, yet done with enough finesse to lure in even the Borgir/Filth beginners, and the pipes of Kris Olivius, making the switch from bassist to lead vocals, don’t have me missing Jens as much. Do yourself a favor, put down the Plague Angel and pick up the Pariah.

Impaled is a cheap, second rate Exhumed. Always have been, always will be. ‘Nuff said.

All of this band’s songwriting since 1996’s Here in After has been a steady building progression leading up to this point, Harnessing Ruin, Immolation’s magnum opus. Slowing tempos down, simplifying the songs, and a much more relaxed recording process have made Immolation’s already awe-inspiring brand of ultra-heavy, technical Death Metal more addictive than ever. Embracing their new found fondness of melody, they have created their catchiest, most memorable album to date, and that’s really saying something when you reflect on this band’s back catalog. Make no mistake, these guys still fucking shred. There’s still healthy amounts of speed, dizzying dynamics, and twisted angular riffing, but it’s the melodies, rich in despondency and tonal wickedness, that make the difference. Lyrically there is no change, still the utmost contempt and mockery aimed at the bastard Nazarene and his blind sheep, and new drummer Steve Shalaty successfully fills Alex Hernandez’s shoes and then some. Factor in a more natural production featuring the meatiest guitar sound they’ve ever achieved, and you have total improvement on every level. Admittedly, the last three tracks qualify as filler by Immolation’s lofty standards, but songs like “Swarm of Terror,” “Our Savior Sleeps,” “Dead to Me,” “Son of Iniquity,” and the majestic title track stick like Krazy glue and are arguably the best songs this legendary underground band has ever written.

Easily the most polished effort yet from this cult act. Their Blackened Thrash assault has never sounded so crisp and professional, and the end result is more vicious because of it. Not that they’ve ever had the worst production, or been a bad band, but this release just seems more focused, and perhaps even more hateful. In several listens, my interest did begin to wane from time to time towards the middle of the record, but more times than not I was brought back to consciousness by a twisted riff. To me, this is the best Grand Belial’s Key has ever sounded, and Kosherat is actually quite heavy in a Soulside Journey sort of way.

Not even a year has passed since The Arrival, the band’s triumphant return to form, and already Peter Tagtgren and company have churned out another full-length album. As if being a full time producer, briefly fronting Bloodbath, and having near death strokes hasn’t kept him busy enough. Sadly this album marks the end of the Lars Szoke era, as we say goodbye to one of the original members of this legendary Swedish Death troop. His versatile drumming style has graced Hypocrisy albums for 13 years, and while he’ll undoubtedly be missed, former Immortal skinsman Horgh is a formidable replacement to say the least. I’m not going to lie, to some degree this is somewhat of a disappointment, although by no means a dismal failure. The best way to get at it is to break the album down. Songs like “Warpath,” “Scrutinized,” “Craving for Another Killing,” and “Blooddrenched,” are among the fastest and most brutal this band has ever penned, and certainly the addition of Horgh was a factor there. They’re heavy as fuck and sound great, but as far as Hypocrisy songs go, they’re a little boring. “Fearless,” “Let the Knife Do the Talking,” “A Thousand Lies,” and “Incised Before I’ve Ceased,” are more of what I’ve come to expect from this band in the last 9 years. Slower, moodier, melodic, dynamic, and catchier than Birdflu. The album closes out with “Compulsive Psychosis,” the most memorable of the brutal selections, and “Living to Die,” which exposes the softer side of Peter Tagtgren, not unlike “Slippin’ Away” from the Abducted LP. As I said, this is not a bad album by any stretch. Aside from Catch 22, I’ll take any Hypocrisy any day. I’ll just never be convinced that these songs didn’t need more time to ferment in the brilliant mind of Peter Tagtgren.

After 2002’s horrible Catch 22, I thought that this band was a lost cause. But then The Arrival came and it looked like Catch 22 might turn out to be more of a fuck-up than a new direction. In another good move around that time, main-man Peter Tagtgren lent his considerable vocal intensity to the almighty Bloodbath. So, it was with renewed hope that I first spun Virus. There are bursts of severity here that make me think that Peter must have liked his time with Bloodbath. Of course these moments are mixed with liberal amounts of the atmosphere for which Hypocrisy has become infamous. The more straight-forward Death Metal elements are extremely well done (and appreciated!), but the less extreme stuff might be even cooler, with my favorite tracks being “A Thousand Lies” and the awesome “Living to Die.” It’s my understanding that the retail version of this (perhaps just the initial pressing?) comes with a bonus live DVD video, so I’d suggest not waiting.

I don’t really comprehend why these guys had to fuck with their formula. Reject the Sickness blew me away when I heard it, and Determination was among the most solid albums of 2001. And while Gone Forever had its moments, I started to notice the band going in a different direction, a direction leading to this album, which is not good at all. Musically the group is still on. They still play rifftastic Euro-laced Thrashcore, and Baron Davis’ screams are still all-pro. It’s these awful Radio Rock clean vocals. Used in moderation earlier on, but now they rear their ugly head on every single fucking track! An example of how bad its gotten: earlier this fall I was browsing at a record store where, unbeknownst to me, this album was playing. I honestly thought I was listening to fucking Sevendust! I’ll always cherish God Forbid’s first two proper albums, but when I can’t tell them from felchmasters like Sevendust, it’s time to give up the ghost. Perhaps this album’s title is a subtle “fuck you”?

Not even sure if I should be reviewing this, as I believe this is a labels-only type of release not available to the public. Oh well, maybe if you contact the band and ask nicely they will hook it up. This is just a 2-song promo of what the band is currently working on after completing a one-album deal with Japan’s Worldchaos Production. That album being their debut, Lifestream Corrosion, which kicked many an ass in 2004. For those unfamiliar with the Finnish sextet, you’re missing out on a great band. They started out as somewhat of a Cradle of Filth clone, but have since transformed into an ominously brutal Death Metal wrecking crew with traces of Black Metal and avant-garde elements. For those that are familiar with the aforementioned LP, these two cuts are thankfully more of the same. They are simply not to be missed, and I would be shocked and appalled if they did not land the good record deal they are searching for with this small sample. Sweet promo package by the way.

Come on, folks! This is called Metal Curse. Metal. It’s not Glam Curse. Don’t send us this shit, we’re mortal enemies. For fans of Backyard Babies, Motley Crue, and Hanoi Rocks? Don’t they know such people have either overdosed on cum or died of AIDS by now? It’s 2006. Mars, bitches!