Cryptopsy - Once Was Not

Posted on Monday, October 04, 2010

This album blew me away… for the first 30 seconds, anyway. Yes, Flo Mounier is still the blastbeat god, the band is tighter than underage Oriental vagina, and the guitar work is so technically impressive that I probably couldn’t play one of the riffs after ten years of schooling, but it’s fucking boring. Yes, I said it, it’s fucking boring. You are, in fact, about to read the only condescending review of this album you will most likely ever see in print. This is without question the weakest moment of Cryptopsy’s career, and I’ve been there since Blasphemy Made Flesh, so you can tongue-polish my scrotum, newcomer. This album is nothing more than one fast, complicated, brutal blur, and Lord Worm sounds flat out tired. His voice is weak and I can see now why he originally hung up the mic. I couldn’t tell you how a nanosecond of this album goes, and I’ve been spinning it for months now. Don’t get me wrong, I love Cryptopsy and always will. Hopefully this is just a speedbump, not a roadblock. It is for sure an unmemorable mess aimed more at the Tech Metal geeks than the diehard Death Metal legions.

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