Ah, a new Yanni album. I haven’t heard Yanni in years. There’s nothing like soothing soundscapes to make my stress flow away. Yeah, Yanni isn’t Metal, but his music works wonders against insomnia. What? This is Burzum? This can’t be Burzum. Varg isn’t this fucking lame, is he? His post-incarceration Metal albums haven’t been all that awesome, but he hasn’t shown any signs of putting flowers in his hair and prancing around the forest with the other Hippies, right? Shit. This is Burzum… Quorthon’s non-Metal stuff was bad, but at least he knew to not use the Bathory name when the music didn’t fit. Varg is probably hoping that the name “Burzum” on the album cover might move a few extra copies. Yes, Varg is back again and apparently his wife is threatening to sell his keyboards on eBay if he doesn’t use them. Sol Austan, Mani Vestan is all instrumental keyboard shit. If you hated Daudi Baldrs and Hildskjalf, you will despise this one, too. Hell, even if you liked those two, chances are that you’ll despise this album. From what I was able to gather from various sources, the music on this LP is actually from the soundtrack of a movie that Varg made with Marie Cachet. The movie, entitled ForeBears, appears to be one of those artsy films that has lots of boring nature footage intermixed with people in furry outfits doing “Pagan” things. If there is more to this than that, please let me know, because from the promotional materials on YouTube, that’s all they showed. Frankly, if the movie is as boring as this LP is, I may just order a copy and stop using Ambien. Sol Austan is about as exciting as watching paint dry. This puts me to sleep faster than a handful of sleeping pills. The most Metal thing about this whole album is the cover art. If it wasn’t for that, I could totally see this on the racks at your local New Age store next to the scented candles and the incense. The only things missing here are the sounds of a flowing stream and some bird noises. This isn’t dark, this isn’t Metal and it certainly isn’t engaging. Welcome to the New Age section of the record store, Varg.
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