Honestly, I don’t actively seek out albums in the Drone/Black Metal sub-genre because it’s really not my cup of piss. Paragate is composed of two tracks, yet both seamlessly blend into one song. Echtra is also a one-man project which, almost always, means an element is going to suffer from some sort of weakness. The beginning of this otherworldly musical journey is marked with a simple and sombre deep-toned acoustic guitar that would please any Swans fan. Later, and I mean much later, the atmospheric Black Metal elements are incorporated in the second track. Such is the mesmerizing effect, which one can reasonably conclude is what Drone seeks to achieve with its listener. Echtra certainly reaches that goal in spades, but I’ll admit it’s a pleasant overall listening experience without becoming boring. The short vocal passage is the weakest element, and the instrumental ambiance, the strongest. Paragate is a great soundtrack for long road trips because, just as you’re becoming entranced, an instrumental change will alert you to the past miles shortening your perception of the voyage. And if you were wondering… I’d buy this album too.

I hate it when I remember something -in this case, something from nearly 25 years ago- as being better than it really was. This new I.N.C. album is a horrible disappointment. I expected old school Thrash the way they used to play it (why else bother to re-form the band?), and although there are hints of that, it’s mostly not present, replaced with decidedly modern Thrash, and the worst clunky riffs of the abomination (and I mean that in the worst way possible) known as Nu-Metal, which was stupid enough when a lot of Thrash sell-outs were jumping on the bandwagon. But now it’s just perplexing. Hold on for a moment while I go listen to this band’s previous, and only, two other albums, 1987’s Razorback and 1988’s The Visitor… Okay, they’re not as good as I thought they were, but they’re not terrible. I don’t understand why Indestructible Noise Command felt the need to “update” their sound/style this much and still keep the same band name. I guess they wanted to play the old stuff live. Maybe seeing the marginal success of the reformations of Onslaught and Exodus made the I.N.C. guys want to give it another try, but do enough people even remember them to “cash in” on their name? Apparently Indestructible Noise Command just needed more than the 23 years they took to write a good album. I’d say “better luck next time,” but hopefully there will be no “next time.”

I’ve come to the realization that if something’s on Profound Lore, it’s going to get overwhelmingly positive reviews no matter what it is. Maybe they send hookers? I read somewhere, someone called this “the Doom Metal album of the century.” Excuse me for one second… …okay thanks, I had to laugh uncontrollably for about eight minutes just from typing that. Then I caught my breath, coughed a little, and then laughed hysterically for four more minutes. Deep, throaty laughs like when a person sounds as if they’re almost choking to death. The truth is, Yob don’t do a very good yob at all. In fact, people into Doom that actually hurts, that actually touches the soul, would say that Yob are doing a very poor yob. C’mon. It sounds like all Stoner Doom bands sound. Like old Black Sabbath, only not relevant or any good. The music’s okay (for someone else’s collection). Slow, plodding riffs that aren’t at all despondent or meaningful. Conjuring up images of a haze of pot smoke and chicks dressed like ’70s sluts. Speed it up and it’d be Phish. As usual, the vocalist is some jackass. All his high friends told him, “Duuuuude… you can sing, man.” He can’t. This would only be mediocre if not for his horrible hippie vocals. God damn hippies. Get a fucking yob. So, since Profound Lore didn’t send any hookers to provide blowyobs, rimyobs, or handyobs, I am going to be the lone critic (there’s two synonyms for you) to tell it like it is. Guys, don’t quit your day yobs. Great band name though.

If you take one statement away from this review, make it that not even Jonathan Davis can ruin a Suicide Silence song. Yes, the Korn ringleader makes a highly uncalled for guest vocal appearance on “Witness the Addiction,” but much like drunken sex with me, it’s over soon and forgettable. I didn’t even realize it was Davis at first and simply thought frontman Mitch Lucker lost a bet. My exact thought was, “god damn, that boy can’t sing!” Well, I was right, I just accused the wrong guy. This is only a slight blemish on an otherwise outstanding effort, so I thought it best to get it out of the way and focus on the positives, of which there are plenty. This is the third album from the West Coast Deathcore machine, and it might be their finest. If you thought there was nothing more you could possibly do with a breakdown, you were wrong (and most likely impotent). These boys take the exhausted tactic and breathe new death into it with impeccable song structure and a fucking unreal heaviness. Honestly, this Steve Evetts/Zeuss team-up might result in the best production ever achieved. If there’s a better one I’ve heard, it’s certainly hard to recall while you’re in the process of listening to this beast. Getting back to Lucker, his high-pitched scream/deep growl combo leans much more to the screaming side for this album, as the growls are unleashed with less frequency, but with perhaps even more gusto. As for his scream, let’s just say I don’t think he’ll be able to talk when he’s 40. It truly is vicious to say the least. Speaking of brutal pipes, check out the vocal cameo from Suffocation’s Frank Mullen on “Smashed.” There now, I’ve forgotten all about that gay Korn nonsense. The music is for the most part simplistic, barbaric, and rhythmically addictive. Not as much speed as prior albums, but twice the punch. It’s damn near impossible not to move your body to this in some way. Even the most Caucasian of us will be popping our fingers on the steering wheel to the double bass, snare hits and palm mutes. You’ll see many bitter critics (who can no longer produce an erection) downing this album. Google “hater.” Trust me, this album is much darker than Kevin Stewart-Panko. Deathcore still lives, bitches.

You know, I almost gave up on Unearth and I don’t know why. No excuse whatsoever, as they have never written a bad full-length album in their now decade-long career. For some reason in my dim-witted Dago mind I just thought, “that new Unearth is gonna be terrible” (begins drooling). Well, thankfully I was as wrong as you can be without some sort of legal ramification. Darkness in the Light is not terrible. In fact, it might be their best since the classic The Stings of Conscience debut that put them on the Metalcore map. Have they changed a single thing about their sound, style, or delivery? No. And who, might I ask, is the dickless piece of shit who sits around their empty home expecting a successful band to do so? They are touring the world doing what they love thanks to their stubbornness, and you are probably playing some kind of online RPG while you force-feed your fat, white body. Perhaps these theoretical “first person shooters” are who planted the seed of doubt in my mind about this album’s potential in the first place? Nevertheless, one listen eradicates all doubt. Melodic, heavy, breakdown-fueled, perfectly produced deliciousness. Guitarist/co-producer Ken Susi’s clean vocals are finally experimented with again. They provide extra depth to the sadder cuts, which stand out the most as sad cuts tend to do for yours truly. I don’t really need my Metalcore to invent the 13th note. It’s just gotta fucking rock. And holy shit does this ever, almost to near perfection.

I never did take the time to seek out 2009’s To the Death, the return to the scene for these Syracuse Straight Edgers after an 8-year hiatus, but judging by what I’m hearing here, I should have. The band have never sounded so focused, so precise, and so musically accomplished as they do on Neutralize the Threat. Of course their earliest material for Victory had a little more venom in its bite and more overall ferocity, but you know the whole fine wine analogy by now I hope. I really enjoyed most of what vocalist Karl Buechner did with Freya during his main band layoff, and I’ll be the first to admit I’m one of about six people who didn’t completely despise the band’s dismal failure of a swansong, 2000’s Slither. Sure it wasn’t really Earth Crisis, but it wasn’t the fucking Limp Bizkit album some critics made it out to be. However, you can turn the page on that petty argument now. This album is pure Metallic Hardcore brilliance 22 years in the making. This has the feel of their older records but with more refined skill. Production from Zeuss never hurts either. Breakdowns are employed, but not overdone (“Total War,” “Counterstrike”). Throughout the entire album, melody is engaged but never overplayed. They can even, at this stage of their career, tap into a Punk-like energy when needed (“Black Talons Tear”). Buechner’s angry bark is still as fierce as they come, yet the lyrical theme of the album seems to have a concept deeper than, “I’ll fucking kill you if you smoke that cigarette, cheeseburger eater!” Is Earth Crisis finally ready to have a beer with me?

As far as I’m concerned, Ringworm has never been able to top 2001’s masterful Birth Is Pain. It’s their Reign in Blood, if you will. The band’s debut, 1993’s The Promise, is a bit more traditionally old school Hardcore, but it’s not difficult to hear how these guys made the leap from that to the more “Metalized” style of their subsequent albums, all of which essentially follow the Birth Is Pain battle plan, including this new one, Scars (which I have seen quite a few times hilariously misspelled as Sears). But the intensity seems to be just a shade lower here (maybe a micro-shade), perhaps due to the somewhat duller production. I don’t know if Ringworm wanted a slightly less-polished sound, or if Victory only gave them $13 for studio time, but in any case, it’s not anywhere close to enough to ruin things. If I hadn’t listened to the band’s entire discography to prepare for this review, I might not have even realized exactly what was a little off. Still, I have to say that Sears Scars is possibly the least-essential Ringworm album, but don’t read too much into that, because the “least-essential” thing these Buckeyes ever recorded is still excellent, and well above most of their competition.
PS. I can’t believe that there’s a song on this album called “Angelfuck” and it’s not a Misfits cover.

Saying that Mystica Girls is the best all-female Heavy Metal band in Mexico seems obvious, but also feels like a back-handed compliment, in that they may be the only one. So, allow me to continue. These ladies can hold their own against anyone out there. As an example, the band’s beautiful guitarist, Cinthya Blackcat, posts her impeccable covers of Joe Satriani, Rhapsody and Stratovarius guitar solos on Youtube, just for fun. Oh, I know what you’re thinking, The Great Kat proved aeons ago that being able to play a complicated solo is far removed from being able to write a good song. Well, that’s not a problem for the tremendously talented Mystica Girls, as every track on Metal Rose is as moving and memorable as they are flawlessly written and executed. The musicianship is absolutely phenomenal throughout the album. Check out the mournful violin and guitar solos in “Mi Sangre,” and while you’re there, stick around for Red Jane’s excellent bass solo. Holy hell, would Steve Harris be proud! Speaking of whom, the classic Iron Maiden influence seems clear, although with a more modern (in the good way!) sound, and Alice’s precision Thrash/Power Metal drumming. I’m somewhat reminded of Blaze Bayley’s amazing Promise and Terror album, and only the best aspects of current Power Metal. If there is one very minor flaw to be found, it’s that Sofia’s emotional vocals can occasionally be ever-so-slightly less than 100% convincing in the English-language songs than they are in her native Spanish. But just listen to the heart-rending perfection of “Tortura” to hear what she can really do. Clocking in at under 26 minutes, Metal Rose is a short album, but stunningly impressive.

While calling this a “new” album would be a bit of a misrepresentation, it is a new release of two previously issued EPs (2003’s Conjuration and 2005’s Slaves Shall Serve) that have been long out of print. As Nergal is still fighting the good fight against cancer, expecting a full-length album of new material is just unrealistic for the foreseeable future.
The attention to detail in the packaging is impressive; featuring a 16 page booklet bursting with eye-catching new artwork. And there are five live cuts that were previously unavailable on the original European EP releases.
With only three original songs available as studio recordings between both discs, it is a bit light on showing Behemoth’s talent as a recording act (which increases in power and intensity with each new record). The bulk of the other material being cover songs, and the aforementioned live cuts. I have to say that the live tracks are absolutely crushing, and showcase a band that is on top of their game.
This is an interesting compilation of material, and a unique time capsule that captures Behemoth just coming into their own identity before the Demigod-forward era.