Yob - Atma

Posted on Wednesday, August 03, 2011

I’ve come to the realization that if something’s on Profound Lore, it’s going to get overwhelmingly positive reviews no matter what it is. Maybe they send hookers? I read somewhere, someone called this “the Doom Metal album of the century.” Excuse me for one second… …okay thanks, I had to laugh uncontrollably for about eight minutes just from typing that. Then I caught my breath, coughed a little, and then laughed hysterically for four more minutes. Deep, throaty laughs like when a person sounds as if they’re almost choking to death. The truth is, Yob don’t do a very good yob at all. In fact, people into Doom that actually hurts, that actually touches the soul, would say that Yob are doing a very poor yob. C’mon. It sounds like all Stoner Doom bands sound. Like old Black Sabbath, only not relevant or any good. The music’s okay (for someone else’s collection). Slow, plodding riffs that aren’t at all despondent or meaningful. Conjuring up images of a haze of pot smoke and chicks dressed like ’70s sluts. Speed it up and it’d be Phish. As usual, the vocalist is some jackass. All his high friends told him, “Duuuuude… you can sing, man.” He can’t. This would only be mediocre if not for his horrible hippie vocals. God damn hippies. Get a fucking yob. So, since Profound Lore didn’t send any hookers to provide blowyobs, rimyobs, or handyobs, I am going to be the lone critic (there’s two synonyms for you) to tell it like it is. Guys, don’t quit your day yobs. Great band name though.

Rating:
-
Tags: - -
(2) Comment(s)


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Vijay Prozak said:

No hookers?

That might be good—in these nu-metal times, you never know what kind of gender-befuddled furry LARPer wearing an Ubuntu t-shirt might show up.

Posted on Monday, August 15, 2011 - 08:34:46 AM



admin said:

That would be my luck.

Posted on Monday, August 15, 2011 - 07:47:56 PM


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