Extremely unoriginal, uninspiring, boring, badly produced, pitch-shifted vocal, shitty drum machine, 32-track, sample-ridden, noisy, dime-a-dozen, poorly written, let’s be like everyone else Gore-Grind. I don’t like it, and neither would Giallo.

You know, for about ten minutes into my first listen, I admit I was a tad concerned about the direction these Old School Death Metal immortals were heading in. With the addition of the dude from Witchery on drums, and the loss of the greatest Death Metal vocalist of all time, it’d have been impossible to not worry a little. And while it may be immediately evident that the “brutality comes through simplicity” mentality that the band was founded on has been slightly compromised by the addition of way more blasting, much faster speeds, more technical playing, and a lot more solos, I have a really hard time seeing the rationale of a blast beat and some showmanship being hindrances. By the second spin, I was doing the backing growls for the chorus of “Brave New Hell.” Peter Tagtgren gives his most brutal vocal performance since the Inferior Devoties EP, proving the only way to replace a legend is with another legend. Speaking of legends, I suppose I was a little foolish in my doubt when you consider the involvement of the Katatonia connection, as Nystrom and Renkse have yet to touch anything that did not turn to gold. Oh yeah, and there’s some guy named Dan Swano on guitars. The elder Gods are still revered, as the feel of classic Entombed is rich throughout the album, and when they do choose to grind, the intensity is in league with Napalm Death. The diabolically evil-sounding high note melodies found on tracks like “Cancer of the Soul” and “Outnumbering the Day” also bring to mind echoes of Necrophobic’s debut masterpiece, The Nocturnal Silence, and I’d be willing to wager any amount that no other Death Metal song this year will come close to the infectious catchiness or all-out heaviness of the deliciously deranged “Eaten.” The domestic version of this release contains two pre-Breeding Death demo tracks that serve to showcase that even through just a couple of raw mics, Bloodbath kick more ass than the leading brand. Long live Bloodbath. Long live Death.

This band is tough to pigeonhole, but they’re best described as melodic, aggressive Thrash with a sometimes overboard modern feel. They steer so far from any category, it’s hard to give comparisons for reference, other than the vocals occasionally peaking into Tomas Lindberg territory. I guess I’d have to say this would be perfect for someone looking for a unique array of heavy hooks, yet doesn’t mind the overall effort lacking that certain punch.

A split CD featuring two obscure underground bands. Black Mass play an extremely Old School style of Satanic Death/Thrash with a sound reminiscent of ancient Morbid Angel and Nocturnus, minus some of the atmosphere and most of the talent. Still, with their attention to detail concerning the sounds of old, a truly raw production, and fearlessly juvenile delinquent lyrical passages like “inverting the crosses of God,” Black Mass’ efforts do come off as authentic, echoing the humble beginnings of scene monsters in the making. However, this isn’t 1987, so they have some catching up to do. Hellraised sound like the Canadian Slaughter in their pre-teens, rehearsing in the garage. Again, about two decades behind the curve. One would have to be pretty willing to take a chance, and perhaps a bit desperate for something new to pick up this split. Odds are they’d probably be a little disappointed, unless the last good album they bought was Abominations of Desolation.

Annoying Stoner Sludge/Noise Rock from members of Cavity and 16. Like a limp dick version of old Helmet and Unsane spliced with Burning Witch. The vocals are a fucking joke. This guy has the artistic prose of an angry fan yelling at a ball game. Imagine a pre-puberty Page Hamilton screaming at someone from across the street. Luckily they keep their shitty songs short, as these three cuts run just under six minutes. Most bands that suck in this manner usually make you suffer through their hippie crap at ten minutes a pop. These guys play really noisy, boring slop, which for some reason these days seems to translate into success. So look for Black Cobra to hit it big anytime soon.

Germany’s Bilskirnir has been active in the NSBM scene for quite some time and has amassed quite a back catalog of minor releases. I don’t know how many split CDs, MCDs or 7-inch EPs this one-man band has released, but there seems to be quite a number of them floating around out there. This MCD is four songs long and constitutes about 20 minutes of total playing time. Not much has changed since I’ve last heard this band, and their Burzum worship really hasn’t done a whole lot to distinguish them from the truckload of other NSBM bands out there doing the same thing. Essentially speaking, Widar (the sole member of Bilskirnir) is rehashing the debut and Aske albums that Varg released a decade ago. According to the liner notes, the songs on this were written over a period between 1996 and 2003. One would think that all of these songs would rule, but sadly, that isn’t the case. This, like much of Bilskirnir’s back catalog (I have several of this guy’s releases), wallows in old Burzum and refuses to go anywhere else. I already have the first Burzum album. If I wanted to listen to it, I’d pull it out and throw it in my CD player. If it wasn’t for the NS aspect of the band, I doubt anybody would pay much attention to Bilskirnir.

Remember this band? They had one good song 8 or 9 years ago. They were on Nuclear Blast for a short time, until becoming too gay for even that label. They used to be an average Doom band, but now they play that Debbie Gibson Metal that Napalm specializes in. In short, no one cares, no one ever has or will. When your greatest hits album is a maxi-single, maybe it’s time to go away.

Oddly, this CD comes in a DVD case. I’ve seen this a few times, and it’s a trend that I don’t really like, but only because DVD cases are larger than CD jewel cases, and the amount of space something takes up is kind of an issue with me, since I don’t have infinite room. That said, I really like the big full-color booklet that comes with this. The Axamenta guys must have spent a fortune on this release, since it’s possibly the best looking, and more importantly, sounding self-released CD I’ve ever heard. Speaking of how this sounds, if you’re familiar with the band’s previous album, Codex Barathri on LSP (I’ve unfortunately not heard the band’s self-released debut, Nox Draconis Argenti), then the intense melodic Black Metal found here won’t be a surprise. But if this is your first time experiencing Axamenta, then prepare your ass for a kicking, as this band has refined its sound to laser sharpness.

Oh, how infinitely far the mighty have fallen. Hey, Alex, change the fucking name would you please? Atrocity is the band that wrote the technical Death/Thrash classics Hallucinations and Longing for Death [which was known anywhere outside of the USA as Todessehnsucht -Editor]. This is fucking Glam, plain and simple! You should entertain a more suitable name for what you’re doing now. Maybe Hungry for Cock, Liv’s Bitch, or Semen Pool? Just give it some thought, because you know deep down in your ovaries this is not Atrocity. People, if you thought Blut was a little gay, Atlantis is the soundtrack to dying of AIDS.