The Sorrow - Misery-Escape

Posted on Monday, December 10, 2012

If the folks at Napalm Records’ advertising department are going to have the balls to call an album “a brutal Metalcore killer” in this day and age when the genre has worn its welcome Kate Moss-thin, it better be fucking brutal. I’m talking 18 VisionsUntil the Ink Runs Out and It Dies Today’s Forever Scorned fistfucking Heaven Shall Burn’s Antigone to Poison the Well’s Opposite of December while On Broken WingsSome of Us May Never See the World watches. I want breakdowns the size of triceratops dick, a vocalist with roars that can induce the loss of bowel control, and melodies so depressing I kill myself twice. The Sorrow doesn’t come close. This quartet probably haven’t even heard any of the aforementioned albums. It’s more likely that they downloaded select Killswitch Engage, Unearth, and All That Remains songs last week and decided to form a band. Misery-Escape might seem “brutal” to the passing Linkin Park fan, or perhaps your grandfather’s grandmother, but to the initiated it’s just a baby fart-bubble in the bathtub. Featured here is every lightweight, non-threatening, super-duper-melodic, good cop/bad cop Metalcore trick in the book… like it’s still the hottest shit in the streets. Perhaps what Napalm meant to say about Diet Caliban here was that they “kill Metalcore brutally”? But that makes no sense either, as the genre sadly bled itself dry years ago. Only the strong have survived, and I guarantee none of them at any point in their careers would’ve put their name to a passionless, unoriginal piece of shit like this. Too many bands just like The Sorrow already. I’m sure spinning this fetid, cliche rehash would remind many of the Metalcore genre’s past greats exactly why they either broke up or went Rock.

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