Pestilence - Doctrine
What the fuck happened here? After providing us with the motherfucking comeback album of the year - if not of all time - with 2009’s Resurrection Macabre, the Dutch Death gods have flipped a total bitch on us. I kept putting off this review for weeks because I wanted to like it. I listened to it repeatedly on several different occasions, in several different moods, trying to force myself to like it. I even put it on after a night of heavy drinking when ALL of my standards are genuinely lower! The fact is, this album fucking sucks. If someone can tell me how a single riff on this album goes, I’ll mail you a fucking dollar. Mameli’s vocals are fucking HORRIBLE. He sounds like Cronos with some kind of malignant esophageal cancer! A pointless intro, the aforementioned vocals of terribleness, and occasional Primus-style bass fuck-arounds are the only elements that stand out on this 40 minutes of supreme disappointment. Maybe not in league with the new Morbid Angel when it comes to Death Metal letdowns, but definitely a close runner up. Or is it possible that it’s even more upsetting when you take into consideration their brilliant return to form of just two years ago? Either way it sucks midget leper shlong. I guess for every Testimony of the Ancients we get, we’re going to have to eat a Spheres afterward. Yucky!
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