My Dying Bride - The Manuscript
Yay, though my love she doth come hither, my member no more swollen remains. For, O, I have heard her queefs! O, wretched queefs in the night as wounded as the Road Warrior’s cry. “A fart, indeed,” quoth I. “Nay, love gusts,” quoth she. In turmoil I tossed and turned for a fortnight. No sleep hath befallen me since. O, Cupid, you unfair scoundrel! My balls of blue, I prithee, erupt! Erupt as her dreaded bull queef doth erupt at my bedside, as I withdraw my youthful hose. O, ominous queef! It comes to kill my heart! ‘Tis natural I doth supposeth. The air, trapped as centuries of dust betwixt thy maiden’s love tunnel. O, foul air! Its abominable noise! ‘Tis the Devil himself mocking me from milady’s warm opening. Like the cardinal perched upon its branch mocketh my woe with song. This bitch queef, she doth removeth the mood from thine eyes. Forlorn and weary, I sought solace amidst the air of warm summer’s evening. The air! The accursed air! How it torments my every step with poisoned memory of thine vaginal quiver and burst! How like the rose petals I tremble amidst the storm. How like the sound of thunder her crotch doth make. Hath so many gentlemen taken abode in her stretched crevice? Hath this chariot no more tread upon its wheels? My dying bride. If e’er I loved her, all that love is gone. Come hither, queefless days and nights and months and years. All you shall bestow upon me now is the sweet silence, the absence of queef. But stay O spite! I pity the next lad to beckon the lioness’ roar of foul air. O, miserable gust of air! Wilt thou lay with her with earmuffs? Beware the style of dog, for it is when that furious noise of dying passion shall be at its loudest. Like trumpets upon castle walls declaring battle. A war of embarrassment no soldier’s might shall sustain. Methinks to beateth the bishop shall suffice. Come, peace of mind. Come, silence, thine angel. I will not touch a bitch. All the world’s a queef, and my dying bride holds no more beauty for thee. I do desire no more.
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