Enslaved - Vertebrae

Posted on Wednesday, February 09, 2011

Norwegian trendfuckers Enslaved have always held a dubious distinction throughout their entire career. The most overrated band in Metal at any and every stage of their existence, a difficult feat to say the least. Criminally overrated, in fact, whether it be their we-wanna-play-too early Black Metal stylings complete with Popeye vocal, or the we-wanna-play-too Viking Opeth impersonation they’ve been working on for three albums. This album is pure forgettable shit, just like every other album they’ve ever done. Musically it’s a blend of whatever’s hot right now, just like every other album they’ve ever done. Prog/Viking/Melodeath with a mix of Whitesnake singing and the most horribly irritating gruff vocals you can imagine. I’m just waiting for some magazine douchebag who’s never been laid to label this Post-Black. Still, this unimpressive boredom will somehow make it’s way onto every Metal publication on the planet’s Top 10 list for 2008, just like every other album they’ve ever done. Well, I truly do hope you’ve enjoyed the first negative press you’ve ever read on Enslaved, and be on the lookout for their Metalcore album next fall.

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