When you read the sticker on the front (“Contains Members of Marduk”), you would expect this to be a real sick-ass raging Black Fucking Metal band. This is definitely not a Black Metal band. In fact, I’d have a tough time rating this as even a full-length album. Devil’s Whorehouse is a Misfits tribute band and this CD is essentially half Misfits worship and the other half Misfits cover tunes. You get 8 songs, 4 of which are covers and a total length of about 17 minutes for all of them. Shit, I think My Dying Bride did a song that was longer than that. And if you find this at a record store, they’re gonna charge your ass full album price for what is essentially an EP. The songs themselves are very true to the Misfits style of “Horror House” Punk and when you compare the original tracks to the covers, you really can’t tell that they were written by two different bands at all. If you love the Misfits and absolutely must own everything that Morgan Hakensson ever appeared on, this might be a worthwhile purchase. If not, think twice before pulling out your wallet on this one.

After one album and two EPs, Mike Sifringer has finally seen the light. Yes, it just isn’t Destruction without Schmier. I guess getting smoked by Sodom at the Milwaukee Metalfest made him realize that people just weren’t buying his Schmier-less incarnation of Destruction and he did the smartest thing he’s done in almost a decade - he got Schmier back. And the results have been incredible. This is the Destruction we’ve been waiting to hear! Add a thick, powerful production courtesy of Abyss studio and you get one of the most potent Thrash albums in years. Alongside Code Red (by the almighty Sodom), this album shows that Germany’s top talent from the ’80s still has the ability to crush skulls in. Add to that an unlisted cover of Metallica’s “Whiplash” that fucking rips the original to shreds and you have one fucking Hell of an album. Now if only we could get Kreator to kick ass again…

After several years away, Australia’s most talented Black/Death Metal band has returned. This time around, 3/4 of the previous album’s line-up has stayed on, with the departure of Ballistic Howitzer (a.k.a. Phil from Long Voyage Back) being the only change. The new guy, Deceiver, is a good addition to the band, laying down a solid machine-gun barrage of beats but also slowing down as well, proving that he isn’t just a blast-beater. Unlike most of the bands from Down Under, Destroyer 666 isn’t afraid to mix things up when it comes to both the speed and song structure departments. This album, like Unchain the Wolves, has elements of Black Metal, Speed Metal, Death Metal, Thrash and NWOBHM all over it. This diversity makes them even more potent because they don’t get locked into one particular style for the duration of the album. Each song has a different sound yet each one is still Destroyer 666. This makes the whole CD that much more listenable. I don’t know how many albums I’ve listened to that had great songs but absolutely zero diversity. The last Abigor album and Panzer Division Marduk (you figure out which band played that one… Pretty obvious, if you ask me!) were cardinal examples of zero diversity. Every song sounded the same and even if that “one” song sounded cool, it just bored me after a while. One interesting note is that the band decided to re-record “The Eternal Glory of War” with a better production and with the new line-up. That track was arguably the standout on the debut, but fits in nicely with the newer material. Place you bets on these Aussie sons of Satan because this one is a winner.

An average attempt at basic Old School Death Metal. A few technical sections and some varied blasting liven things up a little, but what really holds this back is the substandard growler. Musically this is fine, could stand to be a bit more memorable, but I just got done listening to 40 Grit and Edguy, so anything would seem outstanding right now. Middle of the road on this one.

After a weird intro, Descend unleashes a kind of strangely Thrashy, yet sepulchral Death Metal assault. All That Is Evil (featuring members of From the Depths, Soulless, and Decrepit) delivers old style Death Metal, somewhat reminiscent of the mighty Impetigo. The recording quality is slightly rough for both of these bands, but once they can afford better studios, look the fuck out.

This CD is the first full-length release by the German Depression, and it also celebrates their ten-year anniversary. With 21 tracks in all, there are ten bonus tracks included here, one from each of their releases over the last ten years. Depression play extremely heavy and brutal Grind/Death Metal. While they don’t exactly bring anything new to this genre, they are very good at what they do! Honestly, with the exception of bands like Carcass and Rotten Sound, I’m generally not a fan of Grind. But these guys play it so well that I can’t help but enjoy it. If you’re into the aforementioned bands, or perhaps fellow German grinders Blood, you should give Depression a try. You won’t be disappointed!

You know, this just doesn’t sound right… Maybe it’s just me but I think Demonist just doesn’t fit in with the Black Metal genre. You know all those upbeat Iron Maiden wannabe riffs you hear on almost every Hammerfall song? Well, they’re here. In fact, this whole album had me thinking that Demonist was the bastard offspring of Hammerfall and Dimmu Borgir with an emphasis on Hammerfall. Yes, the keyboards are the dominant instrument on this album, but at the same time the “happy” riffs call attention to themselves by really not being very evil sounding or dark in the least. The Classically influenced keyboard work also doesn’t lend much of a menacing atmosphere at all. The only song on here that has the least bit of that evil-old Black Metal feeling is “The Pit” - and that was written by Storm from Master’s Hammer (remember them? I sure do!). Oh yeah, the sole member of this band also has several pictures of himself decked out in his “evil makeup”… A word of advice for all the newbies out there: Use corpse-paint and makeup only if you know how to make yourself look suitably evil. If you look like a fucking dork - or worse yet, like a fucking queer (like this guy, for instance. I thought he was a woman at first) - people are going to laugh at you. It’s probably better for you guys to leave all that shit at your girlfriend’s house and concentrate on your music instead.

I’m probably going to catch a lot of shit for not liking this album very much, but it did absolutely nothing for me except remind me of how little I liked most of their previous albums. Maybe I’m getting a bit jaded as far as Florida style Death Fucking Metal goes, but I think Deicide is in a rut. The lyrics haven’t changed a bit from the previous albums and the music seems to be going backwards in terms of progression. The bulk of the songs on this album sound like they have two riffs in them. Yes, a band like Judas Iscariot can beat one or two riffs to death and make a great five-minute song, but there are some bands that just can’t pull it off. To me, it seems that Deicide are trying to be more memorable by ditching the technical stuff (which is something that Unleashed did - and much more successfully, I might add) but it comes off as being stale when I listen to it. When you compare this to Vital Remains or Acheron (who were both considered Deicide clones when they started), this is nowhere near as good as either of those two bands’ latest albums. Seriously, I was expecting so much more from this album that the sheer one-dimensionality of it almost made me want to demand my money back.

At last, a US band that can compete with the Swedes in the genre of Melodic Death Metal. Even the production has that amazing Swedish feel. A healthy dose of Thrash-style aggression gives the music a heavier presence, and Deep’s sound owes more to that of magnificent bands like Eucharist or Amon Amarth than it does to pussified shit like Soilwork or Darkane. Although I’ve heard this style plenty of times before, I will say that what Deep lack in originality they definitely make up for in execution. One thing is certain - I was impressed enough by Pieces of Nothing that I’m gonna have to track down their first release, The Reach of Envy. You should do the same.