!T.O.O.H.! - Pod Vladou Bice

Posted on Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Wacky, zany, spastic Czech Grind that is way too insanely fucked up for me. The older and balder I get, the less patience I have for the weird-for-the-sake-of-weird variety. My brain hurts just looking at this band’s “name” [The band is really called The Obliteration of Humanity, but it almost exclusively goes by its initials. -Editor] so I guess it’s not too big a surprise that their “music” isn’t easily digestible, also. The lyrics aren’t in English, so I can’t understand those, either. Luckily, the vocals suck dirty dog dick, so I don’t really care to.

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Khanate - Khanate

Posted on Wednesday, April 11, 2012

After an eternity of feedback, distortion and other noises, I wasn’t sure if this CD was playing of if my ancient player finally gave up and died. As it turns out, I wish it would have, since that would have spared me the pain of listening to this minimalistic stoned-out Sludge mess. The music, what little of it the band even bothers to produce amid the cacophony of overdriven squawks, is nothing short of mind numbingly banal in its extreme simplicity. And then we get to the vocals… I’m sure the idea is to sound tortured and miserable, which I certainly was while listening, but otherwise this entire disc is just an ounce of plastic crap.

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Iowaska - Vine of Souls

Posted on Wednesday, April 11, 2012

I hardly even know where to start with this excellent album, except to say that for some strange reason they put maybe the least-great track first… Okay, now let’s get to it: the singer/guitarist, Sam, used to be in the seminal Crust band Amebix! However, her vocals, along with the music, are drastically more far ranging than you might think. Musically Iowaska seems to be almost boundless, effortlessly moving from Punky Metal to seemingly Bad Brains inspired Reggae-Hardcore (“Woman”), to Crust (“Big Deal Get Real” - althought it is somewhat lightweight by today’s standards). And Sam has no problem matching her enchanting voice to the music, no matter should she need brutality or sensitivity. Okay, she also has a hot English accent, plus she could probably kick your ass. I like that.

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Impaled - Choice Cuts

Posted on Wednesday, April 11, 2012

From what I hear, there were a lot of problems due to the cover art from this CD. You’ve probably heard about it, but just in case, it’s a brand-new-born baby about to get decapitated by way of hacksaw. And it’s also the most cartoony, obviously not real thing I’ve ever seen. Or maybe I’m such a sick fuck that it just doesn’t affect me. Anyway, who gives a shit about that? This CD is a collection of rare and demo tracks, along with Carcass and Impetigo covers. How can you not love “I Work for the Street Cleaner” and two different versions of “With Shit I Am Adorned” on the same disc? Obviously this is for fans only, but Impaled would make anyone with sense a fan in a just a listen or two.

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Vore - Lord of Storms

Posted on Monday, January 30, 2012

God damn Hell fucking yes! After their awesome Dead King’s Eyes, Vore has finally returned to once again kick the asses of true Death Metal freaks worldwide. This album may seem strange to newer fans of extremity, because there is no Grind influence here, unlike most other current Death Metal bands, but I assure you that this is plenty brutal and intense. And also just this close to perfection.

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Monstrosity - Enslaving the Masses

Posted on Tuesday, July 12, 2011

This 2-CD set features differently mixed versions of most of the songs from their debut, the Death Metal classic, Imperial Doom, as well as the tracks from their Horror Infinity and Slaves and Masters demos. And that’s just disc one! It’s really great to hear the demo stuff and have it on CD. The second disc is a much more recent live show, which features excellent sound and more or less all the songs you’d want them to play, including their deadly cover of “Angel of Death.” I think it’s really a good idea to package these two discs together like this, because it ensures that long-time fans won’t be able to resist the one-two punch of live and rare tracks, and it’s also a lot of material for neophytes to check out.

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Mayhem - European Legions - Live in Marseille 2000 (video)

Posted on Saturday, July 09, 2011

Despite the title, this was recorded in September of 1999. That odd bit of trivia aside, this is an impressive disc, if for no other reason than to see a human being play drums at the insane speeds and precision of Hellhammer. I would have preferred seeing a show from a lot earlier in this band’s career, but then I’d be looking at a one camcorder shot with laughable mono audio, and not this multi-camera, 5.1 surround sound masterwork. And, although Dead and Euronymous won’t be forgotten, the current line up is great, and of course they rip through all the old classics like “Deathcrush,” “Chainsaw Gutsfuck,” and “Pure Fucking Armageddon,” so there isn’t much to complain about. Even the songs from Grand Declaration of War sound better live. The bonus features aren’t much to speak of, but the blasphemers do apparently really want blood, as thy cut up the arm of some poor female fan in the “backstage footage.”

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Mayhem - US Legions

Posted on Saturday, July 09, 2011

Recorded at several (unlisted) places around the world during 2000, and featuring songs from their entire career, this live CD is a lot easier to listen to than Grand Declaration of War, and they even play “Chainsaw Gutsfuck” and “Pure Fucking Armageddon.” It’s almost worth the price just to hear Hellhammer beat the drums as fast and precisely as he does. Maniac’s between-song comments are often entertaining, as well, but not usually for the right reasons. You’d think he might try to sound more “evil” or something, but that’s just not the case at all. Still, his vocals are suitably sick, and that’s the really important part. There’s a funny bit before the last live song, where some dickweed who must work for whatever venue they were playing, gets on the mic and tries to lead the crowd in a “Mayhem! Mayhem!” chant to bring them back out for the encore, but he sounds completely uninterested, and I’m not sure the crowd responded at all. The band returns anyway, to play “Necrolust.” After that, we’ve got five “pre-production” studio versions of songs from Grand Declaration of War, which remove some of the Electronic/Industrial lameness, but are still a far cry from really being any good. I am glad to see that at least the band, or someone, realized that Mayhem should not be Marilyn Manson. Maybe this means that their next studio album won’t suck ass. We will see.

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Marduk - La Grande Danse Macabre

Posted on Saturday, July 09, 2011

You know, after the all-out speed assault that was Panzer Division Marduk, some slowdown was inevitable, but Great Satan Incarnate! Compared to Panzer Division…, this sounds almost like a Doom album! Well, maybe not that slow, but there is a definite and noticeable reduction in their speed. If you want to compare this to anything Marduk has previously done, the second half of Nightwing is a good example of this album’s direction. It’s slower, heavier and more memorable than the bulk of their previous work, though at the same time, the new material is still brutal as fuck. Legion still has one of the most horrific voices this side of Dead (R.I.P.) and that only helps things. The production is very clear - and we wouldn’t expect anything less from Abyss Studios - which makes every instrument audible. I still can’t believe that I can hear the bass so well. I could probably make out every note if I actually bothered to try. The only thing I thought this was lacking was a fuller guitar sound, though I think this has to do more with the fact that there is only one guitar on this album instead of the usual two. In the past, there were two guitars used for the studio work with Morgan playing both and a session member filling in on second guitar live. For those of you out there hoping for Panzer Division Marduk Part Two, you’re going to be disappointed a little, but La Grande Danse Macabre is still a sick ass album.

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