The Black Metal parts of this album, which comprise the vast majority of it, are amazing; filled with the memorably weird riffs and rhythms for which Melechesh is known. Few bands can match the Mesopotamian masters when it comes to originality, and true to form, the first half of this is absolutely stunning. And then comes “When Halos of Candles Collide,” which admittedly arrives after more than 34 minutes of total ass-kickery. I have no idea what type of equipment is even being used on this track, which is zero Metal and all Middle Eastern Folk instrumental, but I’d guess traditional instruments, maybe an oud. It might have been less tedious to sit though had it been shorter, but five minutes and 40 seconds was sonic torture. Melechesh is right back to being awesome by the next song, though, and doesn’t let up the attack until the penultimate cut, “The Greater Chain of Being,” which is another Folk instrumental, perhaps slightly more interesting than the first. The epic-length (12:18) title track finishes off the album, which is over 72 minutes long, so even skipping the two mood-killers I couldn’t get into, we’re still left with about an hour of intense, unique Black Metal.

Many years ago, these guys changed the band’s name to Crimson Relic, released 1996’s Purgatory’s Reign album, and then apparently changed names back to Divine Eve when I wasn’t looking. Honestly, it has been a while since I last listened to them, but I remember DE being both slower and faster than they are on this EP, which sounds like a cross between Soul Sacrifice era Cathedral (right down to the vocals) and the second-best moments of Celtic Frost. It’s certainly not bad, but I’d hoped for more from this return to the Eve.

It has been half a decade since my old friend Lord Typhus last unearthed a studio album (2005’s Profound Blasphemous Proclamation), and he and his band of blasphemers have certainly been missed. There are too few quality Black Metal bands in the US, much less here in Indiana. Grand Molesters… initially seems to be very raw -necro as fuck, as Cadaver would say- but repeated listens reveal a lot of depth and complexity hidden within the catacombs of this “grim” and/or “kvlt” Black Metal production. The audio level is low, and the mix is bad, with the drums sounding especially thin and buried. And that’s a shame, since this is plenty intense and there are about 666 great, memorable, riffs here (including Thrashy ones, and even some Doom), just waiting for a recording that would do them justice. I’ve known Typhus for almost 20 years (yes, we’re old), all the way past Fog and Morpheus Descends, back to the Subconscious days, so I feel confident in saying that this must be the sound he wanted. I can respect that decision, although I don’t agree with it. I’m happy to hear a Black Metal band sound like Black Metal, and not a 10th rate symphony (Dimmu Borgir), or pathetic Slop Punk (Darkthrone), but the bar for production and sonic quality has been raised since the archaic times of Under a Funeral Moon, and a more powerful sound would have elevated this into legendary status.

Evoken were playing Funeral Doom before the label technically existed, I think that speaks volumes of their longevity and inspiration to the new breed. It also, like most things, reminds me that I am aging rapidly. Which in turn puts me in the perfect mood for their new material featured on this split. At 42 minutes, their half is longer than any Metalcore/Deathcore album recorded in the last decade, and arguably higher quality, at least when it comes to the desolation factor. And there is plenty of exhaustive desolation to go around. Opening cut, “Omniscient,” might be the best song they’ve ever written, and that is saying much of a band I have literally worshipped since 1995. No band puts to record the truest feelings of pure depression better in my book (not even Thergothon who they took their name from). The beautiful clean guitar in “Omniscient” has swept me away to the land of sleep every night since I picked up a copy of this. The ominously deep yet mellow and reserved Death roar of John Paradiso assuring me that thankfully my sleep will one day be eternal. And not soon enough. The two cuts and instrumental that follow are much in the Antithesis of Light / A Caress of the Void vein, sure to please any fan of the band. And while I’m at it, anyone who is not a fan of Evoken please kill yourselves immediately before I risk the chance of meeting you. Beneath the Frozen Soil aren’t bad, but for me their half is simply incidental. They are in the same stylistic vein as Evoken which has them pretty much fucked considering the inherent competitive nature of splits. I’m pretty sure only a handful of Funeral Doom bands could actually hold their own against the Jersey legends (Shape of Despair, Ahab, Rememberance, or Skepticism might have a fighting chance). So, a tough break for them. Still it must be nice to at least be partially involved with something so essential.

Greece is home to the best Black Metal bands in the universe, so whenever I learn about the existence of a new one, naturally I want to hear them as soon as possible. No Hand Path was upgraded from “as soon as possible” to “immediately” because the drummer and bassist are also in Varathron! That set my expectations pretty high, and while NHP does not quite outshine the abyssic masters (but, really, what could?!?), An Existence Regained is an impressive debut. Be warned, though, there are considerable Prog Metal elements here amid the extremity, occasionally including what some refer to as “clean” vocals. They are very well done, though - Ramin can really sing, and his harsh shrieks and tortured wails are as raw and tormented as I’d hoped they would be. The Prog influence is felt instantly, as the first song, “Birth of Consciousness,” initially really took me by surprise, sounding almost like something from Voivod’s Nothingface album. The complexity remains (and increases in a lot of places, both in terms of difficulty and how layered everything is) throughout the album, and is blended with occasionally simpler riffs and stunning drumming. Looking at the song titles, I think that An Existence Regained may be a concept album, so perhaps it makes sense that I had to listen to this several times before I really got a feel for it (I didn’t have the lyrics in front of me, which may have helped). If you like your Black Metal to be performed by artists who can actually play their instruments, then “as soon as possible” isn’t nearly fast enough to check out No Hand Path.

Just knowing that this Death/Doom masterpiece was released by Solitude Productions should be enough to make it an instant buy. But for those wretched few somehow not familiar with the greatest Doom label on the planet, please continue reading. I am ashamed to admit that I had never heard of Ophis before now, but I plan to correct that deficiency as quickly as possible. Withered Shades, the band’s second full-length album, and first for Solitude, expertly combines Doom and the slower speeds (and vocals) of Death Metal, occasionally navigating the frigid waters of Funeral Doom. The bursts of mournful speed are rare, and always placed perfectly to maximize the crushing impact of the return to more bleak tempos. Philipp Kruppa’s viciously tortured vocals are the final nail in this musical coffin, and Ophis is close to perfection, indeed.

The Nuclear guys seem really cool, and I wanted to like this more than I do, but when I’m in the mood to listen to some Thrash (which is not that often anymore), I turn to the ancient masters. Maybe that’s only because there isn’t much new Thrash that’s worth a shit to choose from. Jehovirus, the Chilean band’s third studio album since forming in 1997, is a solid addition to the Thrash list, and is very well recorded and produced. However, something holds it back. It feels almost restrained at times. This blend of Euro (German, really: Kreator, Destruction) Thrash, with a hint of harsher US styles (Slayer and maybe the absolutely most extreme moments of Exodus and Testament), is energetic enough, but the occasional use of what might be considered “generic” Thrash riffs is frustrating, because many of the others immediately grab the listener’s attention. Matias’s aggressive vocals help, and at the most intense moments show considerable promise. The slower, more atmospheric, parts of the songs, such as the beginning of “Belligerence,” “World Depletion,” and its follow-up, “On Killing” (maybe my favorite track here, or the Slayerish “Criminal Solicitation”), work best. Nuclear is a talented group, no question, and I’m looking forward to hearing how they progress.

I’m sure that some would say that without Messiah Marcolin singing, this just isn’t Candlemass. And when I heard that he’d left the band again a few years ago, I assumed that the remaining guys would just give it up. I’m glad they didn’t. Former (?) Solitude Aeturnus vocalist Robert Lowe, whose voice I’ve always liked, has been a good replacement so far, and did an amazing job on his debut with the band, 2007’s King of the Grey Islands. The follow-up later in ‘07 was the live 20 Year Anniversary Party, which featured different singers on many of the tracks, and didn’t satisfy my curiosity about how well Lowe could handle the old songs live. Last year’s Death Magic Doom was a slight letdown, but the Candlemass bar is set pretty fucking high. And now, at last, I finally get to hear Robert’s interpretations of the classics, which he typically handles very well, although his voice waivers occasionally, and he sometimes lets a little too much Texas redneck out in his between-song bullshit. He’s noticeably better in the studio than live, but that may describe a lot of singers. There are two shows on this DVD (plus an interview, photos, and a CD of the Sweden Rock Festival gig, although knowing how Nuclear Blast does business, I wouldn’t swear that the CD comes with all versions, so caveat emptor). The 2009 Sweden Rock Festival set is certainly the better looking of the two, as the second one, No Sleep ‘til Athens (also from 2009), looks soft, as if it were recorded onto VHS, or heavily compressed. The audio is good for both performances, but 5.1 for the Sweden show alone, with the Athens gig being stereo-only, to match its inferior video quality, I guess. The Rock Festival set ends with an enjoyable cover of Rainbow’s “Kill the King,” I suppose as a sort of tribute to the late Ronnie James Dio. For the Athens show, the guys unearthed “Tears,” from Tales of Creation, which I’ve never heard them perform live before, so I really wish that recording had been higher quality. I do have another complaint, perhaps a minor one: In the song “A Sorcerer’s Pledge,” Lowe sings “He drank the wine of the virgin to be reborn.” It’s not “wine,” it’s “blood.” I know that another line in the song is “Blood is his wine,” but please pull your head out of your asshole. Don’t change the lyrics and I won’t call you a scab singer who’s keeping Messiah’s microphone warm for him.

A friend came over to my house last Spring with a CD in his hand. “Dude, you’ve got to hear this fucking shit,” he announced. “This fucking shit” being a reference to the debut full length from Seattle’s Black Breath. “Man, it’s on Southern Lord, it’s gonna suck,” I confidently bellowed. “I know they are a horrible label that only release talentless shit bands that make ‘artistic’ droning noises, but trust me on this, dickhead,” he pleaded. Well, he was right and I was wrong, and I can officially say I like a band on Southern Lord now. You simply do have to check this out. Equal parts Deathwish Hardcore and Sunlight-era Swedish Death Metal, Black Breath fucking crush, kill and destroy. How are the lyrics, you ask? “Come take this knife and slip it in the breast of the babe/drink the blood from the cup/reject Christ/spit on the cross…” Yeah, that good, and screamed venomously with the same vehemence you’d expect from an angry vegan/SxE frontman. All with the guitar sound of motherfucking Left Hand Path! Seriously, if you thought Trap Them nailed the tone, you haven’t heard shit yet. If it weren’t for the laid back pace of strip club jam “Unholy Virgin” this probably would’ve gotten a 10 and made it’s way into my Top 10 for 2010. Actually, upon repeated listens the song isn’t that bad, but it just seems out of place amidst the sea of high-energy, Christ-hating rage. In summary, dude, you’ve got to hear this fucking shit!