Torture Killer - I Chose Death
This Finnish OSDM crew just can’t catch a break! Despite writing some of the catchiest Death Metal since the Tardy brothers started jamming, this group has toiled in obscurity for a decade. Since all major Metal critics have a deeply-embedded subconscious fantasy of giving dual handjobs to Joe Perry and Steve Vai while blowing Richie Sambora and being sodomized by Slash, none of them have the tolerance for a band so brutally basic they make Six Feet Under sound like Wormed. Okay, maybe Torture Killer aren’t that simple, but they did start out as a 6FU cover band. And speaking of which, try to imagine getting megastar frontman Chris Barnes —vocalist for not one but two of the best-selling Death Metal bands ever— to do vocals for your band’s whole album… and nobody bats an eyelash. I’m talking last song ends, cue chirping crickets. It has been a revolving door of vocalists for these guys since day one. Their 2003 debut, Maggots to Devour, featured Matti Liuke. Possibly their best overall growler, basic and brutal just like the tunes. Barnes did the 2006 follow-up Swarm, then for 2009’s Sewers —a record that saw a little suicidal melody introduced to the fold— they re-recruited Juri Sallinen (who also sang on the essential ‘05 split with Sotajumala). Sallinen did a more than serviceable job, but probably, much like Liuke, had to leave to find better-paying work (like dancing with a sign in front of a Little Caesars and/or cash-for-gold establishment). Now with this 3-song EP, we have another new frontman: Pessi Haltsonen of Chainsaw Dismemberment fame. Hate to say it, but I’m not really feeling Haltsonen or I Chose Death all that much. The riffs are still thankfully no-frills, but come off a bit Thrashier than usual. Still headbangable, just less heavy, less heart, no real punch, and those melodies are gone. Pessi’s relatively thin, gargly roar seems somewhat punchless as well, although he and the band do step it up considerably on the title track, which easily comes closest to hinting at past greatness. The bottom line is that music this blunt has to be instantly likable, and I Chose Death feels more like an entry-level demo phase then an offering from 10-year vets. Perhaps a new full-length, and possibly yet another new vocalist, will yield better results. I certainly don’t want Torture Killer to go out like this.
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