Pig Destroyer - Book Burner

Posted on Wednesday, November 14, 2012

I really wanted to like this new Pig Destroyer. One of the cunts I stalk is totally into them, and I was hoping to play this for her when the day eventually comes that she’s bound and gagged in my guest bedroom. Alas, I’ll have to find a different record to put on while I make passionate postmortem love to her, because there’s no way I’m going to be able to keep a hard-on with this non-threatening, noisy garbage on the stereo. Seriously though, people. What the fuck is so great about this band? I just don’t hear what all the fuss is over. I’ll never understand the blindfolded dart toss that determines whether an underground band becomes popular or not, though I imagine much of it is strictly business. Think hard: when’s the last time you saw a scathing, negative review of a Relapse release in a major Metal mag? Never. You’ve never seen that because it has never happened. Know why? When’s the last time you saw a major Metal mag without a full-page Relapse ad? A-ha! That’s how a mediocre-at-best Grindcore band’s mediocre-at-best records get spoken of as if they were some lost, deeply meaningful, spiritually moving Mozart symphonies just now being freshly unearthed. Gimme a fucking break! It’s a shitty Grind band with a shitty yelling vocalist playing shitty one-minute songs that are completely indiscernible from one another. They don’t even have a fucking bass player for Lemmy’s sake!! There’s a guy in the band just doing samples, just randomly slapping his dick on a keyboard now and then, but no bass player?! What the fuck is that shit about? Look, maybe this is good background noise for answering emails or updating your Fecesbook page. Maybe it’s fun at parties, on the right combination of drugs. Maybe the unfortunate reality of how successful an Extreme Metal band is comes down to how many dudes secretly wanna fuck you. Either way, Book Burner does absolutely nothing for me (and neither did Prowler in the Yard while we’re at it). All things considered, this might be the most overrated band of all time. I like real Grind, bitch. Negative. Brutal. Pounding. Relentless. No trippy groove parts, bra. No Dirtnap Darrell riffs, bra. I like Grind that has —what’s that thing called again?— oh yeah… BOTTOM END! I like it the way Brutal Truth and Assuck used to make it. The way the Swedes in the Nasum camp still do. Yes, this is fast, chaotic, and aggressive, but at its core it’s happy music made by happy people for happy people (who need people). No Barbara Streisand Core in this house.
Note: Rating upped one point for this being available on cassette.

Rating:
-
Tags: -
(2) Comment(s)


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OnlyInDeath said:

Even if you happen to like Pig Destroyer, any hessian worth his denim vest should find the media hard-on over this band insulting. I keep seeing ads that refer to them as “the most extreme band on the planet”, and wonder what fucking planet they’re on, because it isn’t this one.

Also, Relapse is selling the cassete for TEN FUCKING DOLLARS…last I checked, the best things about tapes were that they’re cheap, and you can get a 2-in-1 copy of Reign in Blood. So they fucked that up too.

Posted on Thursday, November 15, 2012 - 02:15:03 PM



Ychoril said:

When you hear people describe Pig Destroyer as “the most extreme band on the planet,” what they mean is: The most extremely overrated band with the most extremely underproduced album on the most extremely overpriced tapes on the market.  These guys can’t hold a candle to Napalm Death’s “Scum” album or “From Enslavement…” in terms of extremity.

Posted on Monday, November 19, 2012 - 03:56:42 AM


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