Manowar - Battle Hymns MMXI
This is a re-recording of Manowar’s debut album from 1982. I must wonder, if this sells, will they re-record them all? It seems like a dick move, but I’m not sure… This new recording sounds 666 times better than the original. But was it necessary? Would a remastering of the first recording have done the job? When I listen to Manowar it’s usually just my favorite tracks, very rarely an entire album, and never all of Battle Hymns. The first half of this album is mostly too Butt Rock for me to take seriously. Def Leppard and Quiet Riot were more Metal than the song “Death Tone,” which I think may contain cowbell. That said, this new 2010 recording/production certainly does sonically impress. Although there are a few good seconds here and there early on, and I suppose that I’m glad that the guys didn’t succumb to what I hope was an overwhelming urge to rewrite the past by reworking some of the music (the cringe-inducing lyrics are sadly a lost cause), it’s best to simply ignore everything until the song “Manowar” starts. Also try to not listen closely at the end of it when Eric Adams sings “Man-UH-war,” rather than “Man-OH-war,” which is insane. Oh, but those familiar with this album are likely wondering who does the narration in “Dark Avenger,” originally spoken so perfectly by the late Orson Welles. I was also curious about who could have the necessary boulders to do it justice. It’s Christopher fucking Lee! He could make reading the Elkhart phone book sound ominously cool, so of course he knocks this into outer space. After “Battle Hymn,” which closed out the original version of this album, as I wish it had also done here, there are now two live tracks, recorded in 1982. Unfortunately they’re “Fast Taker” and “Death Tone.” I can only guess that we got those instead of live recordings of “Manowar,” “Dark Avenger,” and “Battle Hymn” for the same reason that Katy Perry is somehow not deep-throating me as I type this. If you’ve ever thought, “Man, I’ve got to listen to Battle Hymns right now!” then this is probably a worthy “upgrade.” For the merely curious about this venerable band, I’d suggest starting with one of their plethora of live albums.
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