Glorior Belli - The Great Southern Darkness
Maybe you picked up on this by the album title, but Glorior Belli combine substandard, pro-life Black Metal with Pantera worship. My dick writes better songs than Pantera. Pantera fans are happy faggots. Pantera’s music would best be described as Christian Soft Rock. Hurricane Katrina was punishment from Satan because Phil Anselmo lives in New Orleans. My dick is going to start an anti-Semetic Powerviolence band called Nathan Gale. Nathan Gale was a true American hero. I am the president of the Nathan Gale fan club. Pantera fans love Jesus Christ because he is their savior and he died for their sins. Vinnie Paul’s drumming makes Marky Ramone’s seem like World Downfall-era Pete Sandoval. The God Delusion was a New York Times bestseller because Richard Dawkins does not listen to Pantera. The Challenger mission failed because someone on the ground was listening to Projects in the Jungle. The Mayan calendar ends in 2012 because of Down’s last album. My parents got a divorce because of how much Pantera’s Christian Soft Rock sucked. Pantera’s complete discography is the reason the United States is in a recession. George W. Bush wrote all of Pantera’s lyrics. Many of the illegal aliens in the United States are going back to their native countries because they heard a Pantera song. Downs Syndrome was named after the band Down. In a nuclear war, China would destroy us because they don’t listen to Pantera. In states where it is legal, “Cemetery Gates” is the most popular song played at gay weddings. Animal from the Muppets was a better drummer than Vinnie Paul. Glorior Belli owe Black Metal an apology. You should not listen to Glorior Belli’s pro-gay marriage brand of Black Metal. I have to go listen to the first album by Make a Change… Kill Yourself to remind myself of what real, anti-life Black Metal sounds like. Real Black Metal bands are not influenced by Pantera. Intelligent people do not listen to Pantera.
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