Conan - Monnos
When I see the name “Conan,” I think of Robert E. Howard’s barbarian king. Everything about that name conjures up images of brutality, savage warfare and epic fantasy storytelling. If you have the stones to call your band Conan, you’d better be able to produce. Sadly, this New York Doom band doesn’t. [Correction: This band is from the UK. Liverpool to be exact, if anyone cares that much. -Editor] The only thing “epic” about Monnos was how boring it was. Every song chugs along at the same basic tempo, and outside of the track “Golden Axe,” all of them were basically the same in terms of structure. “Golden Axe” was essentially an interlude that went nowhere. I wouldn’t even really classify it as a song. It’s just five and a half minutes of the same boring riff and repetitive drumming. This isn’t Robert E. Howard’s Conan. This is Faux-nan the bore-barian. Crom is not pleased.
(4) Comment(s)
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Koji Kabuto said:
I’ve heard this album. It’s not great and I don’t know if I’ll ever feel the need to listen to it again, but it’s not a 3. The thick guitar tone alone is worth more than a 3.
ConjuredBungee said:
They’re not from New York, or even the US - you fucking amateur.
admin said:
ConjuredBungee: Thanks for pointing that out. I’ve added a correction to the review. I’m not certain, but perhaps Ychoril was mocking the band by saying that they’re from Noo Yawk. Or it was just an honest mistake, which I assume you never make. In any case, I’m glad it elicited such a strong response.
Ychoril said:
I have to apologize to New York. I’m glad a boring, pointless band like this doesn’t come from there. This is what happens when a label sends out a press release where the only information about the album is an advertising blurb that is less about the band and more about the label and then puts a media contact for the P.R. firm (which IS in New York) instead of the band. @Koji Kabuto - if thick guitar tone or great production was worth more than a three on its own, I would have rated the Cancer Bats album higher. Great sound or thick guitar tone can’t save a boring album (in this case) or a shit album (Cancer Bats). This album is either a coaster or a waste of good hard drive space, depending on how you got it.
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