Cold Colours - The Great Depression
If Cold Colours just stuck to playing Thrash and didn’t attempt all this Gothic sounding shit, and then wrote lyrics that didn’t sound like a whiney sixteen year-old Emo kid after failing (yet again…) to kill himself while listening to Marilyn Manson, The Great Depression might actually be a listenable album. Seriously, when I was playing this, I imagined a bunch of mascara-encrusted eunuchs trying to emulate Evanescence, but without the benefit of a hot chick singer. The “melodic” vocals and the lyrics are cringe-inducing. If you’re going to dwell on depression, this is not the way to do it. If you want depressing music, try playing something slower - like Doom. Aggressive music, like Thrash, doesn’t mesh well with this whiney, Emo shit and the blending of the two is an abomination. The straight-out Thrash parts on this album are fairly well executed (if generic), but those fleeting moments of decent music are soon deluged in the vile, Emo-infested crap that weighs this album down like the albatross around the ancient mariner’s neck. The marketing on this album said “For fans of Opeth, Iced Earth, Katatonia, Nevermore, Amorphis!” but Cold Colours is nowhere near the caliber of any of these bands - and this is their sixth release! Who the fuck is buying this crap? Do you get a free copy of this album with every purchase of a Twilight t-shirt at Hot Topic? Of course, the marketing also referred to Cold Colours as “Dark Metal,” so I get the feeling that the person who wrote this desperate attempt to polish a steaming pile of elephant feces was either listening to a different album or he was legally deaf. And that excellent cover art this CD is supposed to have? It looks like a shack in the woods with a sign on it saying that the place was condemned. If you were searching for something that represents economic hardship, there are places in Detroit that look more hopeless and bleak than this does - and they’re real! This is everything bad about Emo/Goth mixed with the most generic of Thrash Metal, resulting in a guarantee that anyone purchasing this will get tortured for eternity by Paul Baloff in an entirely new layer of Hell set up just for them.
(4) Comment(s)
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Koji Kabuto said:
Why do bands like this even exist?
At least they’re good to make fun of, I guess…
By the way, how the hell do you pronounce “Ychoril”?!
Ychoril said:
These bands exist because releasing an album is so easy and cheap that anybody can do it. With the proliferation of indie labels and social media, you can literally start a band, produce an album and market it all from the comfort of your mom’s basement. There’s no “proving yourself” anymore. You don’t have to spend years playing clubs or putting out demo tape after demo tape to hone your craft. There’s no talent scout for the record company or club owner that’s going to tell you that you and your band suck Godzilla’s gigantic mutant reptile penis and that you should probably stick to pushing fries at Burger King. Anybody can enter the market and with the door wide open, everyone has. As much as we all wish that crap bands would disappear, the free market is going to ensure that we’re going to continue to see a flood of bands and albums hitting the Metal marketplace for years to come.
As for how you pronounce Ychoril, it is Yi-kor-il.
Koji Kabuto said:
Thanks! 
Gutrot said:
“This is everything bad about Emo/Goth mixed with the most generic of Thrash Metal, resulting in a guarantee that anyone purchasing this will get tortured for eternity by Paul Baloff in an entirely new layer of Hell set up just for them.”
Good thing I ripped this off a torrent site.
Fuck this pathetic bunch of pussies.
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