What can I say about the Meat Shits? They’re rude, raunchy, sexist, hate-filled, anti-homosexual, demented misogynists, but most importantly, they’re funny! They’re funny and they piss off the politically correct. This album (which is really the Vicious Act of Machismo, Tenebrae, and She Was Asking for It recordings compiled) is like all their albums, 20-30+ songs, about 1,000 samples, delightfully deranged artwork and layout, growled vocals spewing obscenities, fast to mid-paced Grind, and even some keyboard meandering. All in all, one of the coolest “must be 21” novelty listens you’ll find out there.

California’s Brown Metal band, the Meat Shits, have improved drastically since 1993’s 44 track embarrassment, Ecstasy of Death. The songs are longer. The riffs (yes, there are actual riffs) are heavier, as well as the vocals. The multitude of samples are of course still evident, and always a nice touch in my book (or in Ray’s). Catatonic Existence play a style similar to the Meat Shits, except it is much slower, the riffs are barely as heavy, and the vocals are truly pathetic. They obviously are also a band who digs samples because they eat up more than half their material. However, the samples are the coolest aspect of their music.

I’m glad to see that the so-called Kings of Metal have finally unleashed a new studio album. I’d say that two 2-CD live albums in a row was plenty of live stuff for the next decade or so. On with the review. The first song, “Call to Arms,” is classic Manowar, and a damn fine way to start things off. This seems to be something of a concept album about freedom and liberty. Sounds good so far. But then the second track, “The Fight for Freedom,” gets started… And I wish it hadn’t. Piano, I know, is not utterly unknown to Manowar, but I’ve always loathed the wimpier side of this band… At least this sappy song is interspersed with bits of heaviness. Not so for the entirely wimpy “Nessun Dorma,” which wouldn’t even have counted as a “power ballad” in 1987. Things stay as flaccid as a Dairy Queen soft serve vanilla cone in the middle of August for the next two songs, almost as if the ‘war men were afraid to really let loose for some reason. What happened to “All men play on ten”?!? And then comes “American Trilogy,” and sanity itself is completely abandoned as the former champions of “Violence and Bloodshed” break into a mind-numbing (and I mean that in the worst possible way) rendition of “Dixie” (along with a couple other old chestnuts). I wish that were a joke. Or a typo. Or anything but the most unintentionally funny thing I’ve ever heard! Is the other half of the album any better? Somewhat. And at least things end on a strong note with the relatively intense “Fight Until We Die.” But, despite a few good songs, this is probably the weakest, wimpiest Manowar album ever.

A new album and yet another new vocalist from the mighty MC. The new guy isn’t bad, he does his best Bret Hoffmann imitation in The Fine Art of Murder fashion, but it is a slight step down. However, when you’re talking about Malevolent Creation, the musical prowess is always the star of the show anyway. When it comes to ultra-tight, ultra-fast Death Metal, you can’t find it any more upfront and honest than Malevolent C. They haven’t changed a bit. The cream: title track, “Divide & Conquer.”

This MCD is the debut release for Judas Iscariot on No Colours records. Ironically, this may also be the last Judas Iscariot CD ever released as rumor has it that Andy Harris has ended this project. If this is so, and there are no further releases, what a fucking way to go. Moonlight Butchery is cold, hateful and as bleak as only Burzum could get during their heyday. In fact, the best way to describe Judas Iscariot is to say that this is what Burzum could have been if Varg had stayed Metal and not gone all Dark Ambient. This CD also proves that grim, hateful music can be created in harmony with good sound and exceptional playing. Judas Iscariot has consistently gone with good, clear production over the “necro” style of Black Fucking Metal where everything has to sound like shit. Also recruited for this release was Dark Ambient/Industrial artists Puissance (who have released a dearth of material through Cold Meat Industries and Regain Records for those unfamiliar with their music), who provide between-track intros. Even though there are only four songs on this MCD, the quality of the music stands supreme. This is what true Black Fucking Metal is all about. The only thing keeping this from absolute perfection is the sound inconsistency between the fourth song and the other three. The final track on this MCD was recorded at a different time and at a different place, resulting in a song that has different guitar and drum tones than the previous material. Even though the song still kills, it throws things off by just enough to call attention to itself.

Judas Iscariot is one of the few “Grim” Black Metal bands that I can stomach listening to repeatedly. If any band captures the “old” spirit of Black Fucking Metal, this is it. The music and the vocals on To Embrace the Corpses Bleeding are just fucking cold. You can just feel the nihilism and hatred in the unholy sound coming from your speakers and the atmosphere totally reminds me of how it felt to hear Burzum for the very first time. The production - especially the drum sound - is much improved over the last album and one thing about this CD that I really like is the fact that the guitar sound is razor sharp. You can hear every note perfectly. Most bands in the Grim Black Metal genre use horrid sound to hide the fact that their playing is very sloppy. If you play fast enough and have rough enough sound, you can hide sloppy playing most of the time, but Judas Iscariot has never had to do that. Even though there is an “error” left on this album, it detracts nothing from the music itself. The flaw had to do with a damaged master tape and could have been digitally repaired but I respect Akhenaten’s decision to leave it in to give you Judas Iscariot in its pure, unadulterated form. My favorite track is probably “In the Valley of Death, I Am Their King” because of the keyboard’s additional atmosphere. This is a band that doesn’t need keyboards to develop an atmosphere, but when the keys are used, they do nothing but enhance the sound and feeling. This album is just fucking evil, the way Black Metal was meant to be.

Decent Death Metal from the East Coast. Very brutal, a little under-produced, and forget about originality. Think a poor man’s Deeds of Flesh with a dab of Old School simplicity. Everything here is just above average enough not to suck, but the bottom line is that I’m bored halfway through the second track. To sum it up perfectly for my generation, if this were the mid-’90s, this band would be on Wild Rags.

For over a decade Incantation has stood strong in the Death Metal underground, and while their albums have always been evil and super brutal, this is probably their most memorable and best effort ever. The slow-death, almost My Dying Bride-esque, “Once Holy Throne” is just beyond belief, and provides a very effective balance and intro to the warp speed of the next track, “Crown of Decayed Salvation.” This is a very well thought out and written album, and with it Incantation has come damn close to Metal perfection (weird outro excepted).

Amazing. Truly amazing. Much like countrymates, and fellow Black Metal pioneers, Darkthrone, the guys in Immortal just keep getting better with every release. Beginning with the path started on the now classic At the Heart of Winter, the music of Immortal has been crafted with such eloquent design and focus while still remaining true to their genre’s primal and barbaric roots. The attention paid to song structure and melody is what has made the last few albums such keepsakes. No disrespect to the Full Moon… or Blizzard Beasts eras and those whose hearts lie with them, but I’m sold on the much heavier, smoother, and more dynamic Immortal, which still contains its fair share of merciless blast. Not to mention the vocals of all that is grim and frostbitten. Cultest cuts: “Tyrants,” “In My Kingdom Cold,” title track.