The Gathering - Sleepy Buildings - A Semi Acoustic Evening
Would this fucking band please just go the hell away? Who gives a shit about The Gathering in 2005? Even when they started out as a heavy Doom band with Death growl vocals they weren’t all that. Now that they have fucking Kylie Minogue singing for them and all their intensity has been scrapped for Pop accessibility, they’ve really worn out their welcome. This particular piece of wasted plastic is a wannabe “Unplugged” spanning their entire worthless catalog, plus one new song. Hooray! As if the original versions by Metal’s Aqua weren’t mellow enough. If you like The Gathering, I think you’re gay.
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The Furor - Invert Absolute
With a name like The Furor (albeit spelled incorrectly), I was at least expecting some cool lyrics. Nothing here but average, fast Black Metal. The same old shit done to death. Boring as fuck!
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Funerarium (France) - A.M.O.R.C.
[This album is also known as Noces Chimiques -Editor]
Melodic, suicidal Black Metal that occasionally falls prey to cheesy Industrial segments. Their musical ideas are good, I’m actually reminded of the mighty Thy Serpent from time to time, but they need to get the vocals straight. This dude sounds like Cobra Commander, and then there are the guest vocals by Pavarotti. It just doesn’t work for some reason. There’s no question that with a better singer and a cutback on the mechanized elements, this would get a much higher rating.
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Frozen Shadows - Hantises
If your CD collection is lacking in uninspired, unmemorable Black Metal albums that you’ll never listen to, Frozen Shadows feel your pain and have come through with that heartless slab of tenth rate Immortal destined to be sold for gas money the world over. Holy must be getting pretty fucking desperate.
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Forest - Like a Blaze Above the Ashes
From Russia hails Forest, a band on the BlazeBirth Hall roster (read: NSBM). Like many other bands associated with BlazeBirth Hall, Forest is heavily influenced by the likes of Burzum and old Emperor (not to mention ancient Bathory). Like Burzum, Forest is dark, atmospheric and enjoys writing epic-length songs. Like a Blaze Above the Ashes is about 45 minutes long and has four songs. If you average things out, that means each song is roughly 11 minutes in length - give or take a couple seconds here and there. Minimalistic riffing and song structures abound on this album, beating one good riff into the floor before starting another one. The production isn’t as treble-heavy as the bulk of this particular genre tends to be - though they’re nowhere near as heavy as Drudkh or Weakling. This is definitely a step upwards from their debut, which was also pretty decent. While their political opinions are kind of radical, they don’t let it infect their music. If you didn’t know BlazeBirth Hall was NS oriented, you’d never know it from listening to Forest. NS or not, this is still a solid piece of Norse-influenced Black Metal.
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Flowing Tears - Razorbliss
The tears in question are obviously those of any heterosexual who has been subjected to Power Metal’s answer to Evanescence.
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Fleshies - Gung Ho!
Cheap, sloppy, noisy, thrown together Punk Rock. These guys don’t take themselves too seriously, and coincidentally no sober individual that hears this album will either.
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Fission - Crater
This band plays an absolutely exhausted style of Gothenburg Death/Thrash with about half of the heaviness and aggression that even most lower tier copycats can muster. And the “Folk” aspects are merely moments of Journey awkwardly thrown in. In summary, a forgettable compound of boredom and cheese. Cheddar apparently does not make every bite better.
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Final Breath - Let Me Be Your Tank
To say that this will appeal to fans of Slayer, Lamb of God, Unearth, and The Haunted is insulting, not only to me, but to anyone who’s ever heard music. Not to mention it’s a complete lie. This sounds like some fucking JL America/Turbo Thrash! Rehashed, remastered, and repackaged for resale. Stunningly average. A couple of fucking breakdowns doesn’t make you Unearth. So far, this Magick label hasn’t shown me shit.
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